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And yet, it was exactly what I’d done to myself.

I’d pushed everything and everyone away to survive the loss of Dad, our home, and my dreams. I’d taken up the mantle of my life here and then used it as an excuse to keep the world away so I didn’t have to feel abandoned and hurt and lost ever again.

What a lousy example that was for my siblings.

I wouldn’t want this for them.

I’d insisted I was living in the present…but was this really living? I’d been drowning for a long time in the minutiae of our lives, but we needed more than that to be happy. I had to find a way to give my family thatmore. I had to find a way to give it to myself too. We deserved it, and so did Rory.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Rory

LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL

Performed by Gary Allan

After breakfast,Gage followed me to the cottage in his SUV so I could change and drop off the bike. The sun had broken through the clouds for the moment, but they still hung in the sky, waiting to drop more rain onto the already soaked earth.

The aroma of the fallen leaves hung heavy in the air. Winter had landed fully upon us with a series of storms hitting the East Coast this week.

Which meant I’d be stuck inside a car all day when I would have preferred to be on my Rebel. Not only because it was easier to maneuver in the traffic, but because the more time I spent with Gage, the harder it was to stop myself from falling back into the teen crush of a decade ago. Especially after kissing him. Especially after kissing him and hearing him say he wanted something more than a single night with me.

It was my teenage fantasy come to life.

Except I wasn’t a teenager.

I was a grown-ass woman with huge responsibilities. My mom’s life literally hung on my ability to do my job and get paid.

Nan looked up from the table in the kitchen as I walked by.

“Is that Gage Palmer waiting for you?” She nodded toward where he’d parked the Pathfinder in front of the house. “You didn’t say on Sunday, but I heard through the gossip line. It was his brother who was missing, wasn’t it?”

I nodded.

“That family has been through so much already,” she said softly. “What happened?”

“We think it’s tied to something with Demi,” I said, wondering if I should tell her that it might be tied up with Mom too, and then deciding until I had proof, it would seem like I was trying to connect dots that were on completely different pages. Even Gage, knowing everything, had hesitated last night.

“So you’re still on the case, then?” Nan asked.

I nodded, placing my bag down on a chair. “I’m going to shower and change real quick. I probably won’t be by Shady Lane until late.”

Guilt twined through me, and Nan read it.

“She isn’t there, Rory. She won’t even know.”

Sadness. Regret. Anger. They burned inside me.

“I can’t believe you’ve given up on her.” I started down the hall, tossing over my shoulder, “I don’t have time for this today. She’s in there. We just have to reach her.”

“How long, Rory? How long are you going to keep her in that state and you along with her? You’re both in limbo, withering away.”

I whirled around to see her standing at the table, face red with frustration and anger and hurt. I strode back to her. “I’m not withering away.”

“You are, damn it! And Hallie would hate it. As much as I despise siding with that man who fathered you, this may be the one and only time he actually knows what’s best for you. I’m glad he didn’t give you the loan.”

My mouth dropped. “You knew? How?”