Page 9 of The Last One You Loved
Mila fellasleep when I was only halfway through the book. It was too late for her to have been up anyway, but as tomorrow was Saturday, it would be fine. We’d sleep in, make pancakes, and go find her a damn hula hoop.
I eased out of her bed, pulled the blankets up, tucked them tight around her little body, and then just stared. She was a small miracle. Not only because she’d survived the first year of her life in horrifying conditions, but because she’d changed my life. Made me a better person. Given me an even bigger purpose.
I placed a kiss on her forehead and left the room with her rainbow of nightlights casting a million shimmers along the walls.
I made my way to the kitchen and blessed Rianne silently one more time when I found a plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the microwave. I heated it up and then sat down on the sofa with my plate and a beer I rarely drank to watch a hockey game that couldn’t keep my attention.
My phone buzzed with a message from Ryder in a group text that included our two sisters.
DIPSHIT: You should have come back. Mary Beth almost stripped on the dance floor, and Chuck had to toss her over his shoulder to get her to leave.
I chuckled, imagining the scene. Mary Beth and Chuck owned the feed store everyone in the county used to place their orders. She was renowned for her antics when she let loose, and Chuck was renowned for reeling her in and keeping her safe.
ME: Thank God I missed it. I don’t want to see someone as old as Mama getting naked.
Sadie came back the fastest. Our little sister was in her last year at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville getting a pre-law degree I didn’t think she’d ever use. Instead, I was ninety-nine percent sure she’d end up making waves on the professional dart circuit.
SASSY PANTS: There’s our little monk.
Gemma came to my rescue.
GEM MINE: I kind of have to agree with Mads here. I don’t want to see Mama, Daddy, or anyone their age naked.
SASSY PANTS: You just don’t want to see anyone naked. You’re as bad as Mads. Thank God Ryder and I are around to balance you out by rejoicing in the human flesh.
DIPSHIT: Damn it, Sadie. Do not make me drive to UTK and beat the hell out of someone. You are not allowed to have sex, think about having sex, or even look at the other sex.
SASSY PANTS: Too late, big brother.
I groaned.
ME: Can we stop talking about sex and family at all? I just ate Rianne’s magnificent meatloaf, and I don’t want to toss it back up.
SASSY PANTS: Have you even had sex, Maddox? Besides with your hand?
GEM MINE: ***puke GIF*** Please STOP TALKING. I’m changing the subject. How are you doing today, Mads?
I glanced over to the side table Mama and my sisters had loaded with picture frames. They contained years of childhood memories as well as ones of Mila and me since we’d become a family. My eyes settled on the photo of sixteen-year-old me with the Bronco when I’d first bought it in worse shape than it was now. Tucked against my side, grinning like she’d been the one to buy the vehicle, was McKenna Lloyd. Her skin was golden from the days we’d spent at the lake. Her honey-blonde hair glowed with natural highlights the sun had been responsible for, and her wheat-colored eyes were sparkling. The tip of her slim nose turned up just the tiniest bit, and her full lips were spread wide.
Pain, ragged and sharp, drew down the middle of me, taking my breath for a second.
It seemed impossible that, even a decade later, it could still hurt so much—barely having her and then losing her.
I shook my head. I’d had her for ten years. We’d pretty much become inseparable from the time I’d found her hiding from her mama’s hateful words. We’d been side by side, playing at school or escaping her mama to run wild in town, and, whenever my family could convince her mama to let her come, exploring the ranch.
All my best memories had McKenna tangled and twined in them, like vines growing through a magnolia tree. Memories I didn’t mess with. Memories I kept locked up deep inside me and took out to relive and cherish whenever I was feeling strong enough. That wasn’t today?her birthday and also the day I’d lost her for good.
The day she’d told me she was engaged and to stop calling.
I hadn’t even known she’d been dating anyone.
We’d communicated solely by texts and video chats since my one and only ill-advised trip to California. Even though she’d told me not to come back, not to wait, I’d stupidly gone on doing just that.
But I shouldn’t have waited, because I’d known she’d never come back to Willow Creek, just like she’d known I’d never leave. Our friendship that had flared, briefly, into something more had been forced back into what it had started as?two people who simply wanted the best for each other.
DIPSHIT: Do we need to stage an intervention, Sheriff Hatley?
The text loosened the hold the memories had on me. They might hurt, but I’d never regret my past, because if I hadn’t had McKenna, I never would have had Mila, and she was the best thing in my life.
