Page 51 of The Last One You Loved
Mila opened the cover of an obviously well-loved book and looked to Maddox.
“All the voices tonight, Daddy. We have to give McKenna the full Chester experience!” she demanded.
Maddox sighed—a fake one, obviously egging her on.
“I don’t know, Bug-a-Boo. My voice is pretty tired tonight,” he said, trying to keep back a smile as he looked down at her.
“Daddy! This is her first time with the unicorns. Youhaveto do the voices.”
“Fine, fine. But you have to do all the neighing.”
She nodded, scooting down a little, tucking one hand onto his arm, looping the other through mine, and drawing the three of us together even more.
My heart flooded with emotions. The sweetness of it. The mirage that we were a family. It hurt more than anything had hurt me in ages. Maybe since I’d told Maddox to stop calling. Maybe since I’d said goodbye to him on the dorm steps and told him not to come back. I’d been so stupid. I’d given up so much for such ridiculous reasons.
For dreams that were now crumbling and fading away.
As Maddox read the book, I listened as enthralled as Mila. His voice changed inflections and tones with the pace of the story, the different characters, and the emotions the plot demanded. He wasn’t the least bit embarrassed I was there listening. It was almost as if he’d forgotten I was there at all as he put on the show his daughter demanded. Mila giggled and sighed, and her fingers got tense at the part where the troll had all the unicorns locked up in his dungeon. She’d obviously read the story a million and one times, but she still felt everything.
I wondered what it was like to feel that much.
I’d purposefully shuttered my emotions for years. First, because if I didn’t, Mama used them against me, and then because you had to be calm and sure as a doctor. Friendly but serene. The only person who’d ever seen my true feelings was the man reading to us. He’d gotten my fear and sadness and heartache. He’d gotten my love and joy, too.
When the story was done, Mila clapped and then leaned up to kiss Maddox’s cheeks. “Thank you, Daddy! That was the best you’ve done inmonths.” Then, she turned to me and asked, “Wasn’t it the dreamiest story ever?”
I nodded, heart in my throat. I cleared it and said carefully, “It was pretty remarkable.”
My eyes met Maddox’s as I spoke, and something passed between us again. Desire tangled with more. Regret. Anticipation. I couldn’t name it and didn’t want to. I just wanted to revel in it for a moment. To enjoy the sensations of being wanted.
That snapped me out of it.
I wasn’t wanted. Maddox definitely didn’t want me here. He’d given in because Eva had nagged at him.
Maddox and I both got out of her bed at the same time. He put the book on the nightstand, kissed her forehead, squeezed her tight, and said, “Time for sleep.”
“Can’t we read one more story?”
He shook his head. “No, tomorrow is a school day.”
She sighed dramatically. “There’s only two days before Thanksgiving break. Can’t I just stay home? With you and Miss Rianne and McKenna?”
“You love going to school. You beg to go on your days off, so what’s up?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and assessing Mila, as if he could ferret out what was wrong by just looking at her. He used to do that to me…and he’d almost always succeeded.
“I love school,” she said with a wild nod. “But McKenna is here, and I don’t know how long she’ll stay, and I justneedto spend time with her.”
My heart wasn’t sure it could handle the wave of emotions flowing through me. When was the last time anyone hadneededto spend time with me? The desperate need that my little sister expressed. God…I had a sister… It kept hitting me at the weirdest moments.
Maddox looked up at me and then down at her again, clearing his throat. “I believe she’ll be here until after Thanksgiving. You’ll have plenty of time with her.”
“Are you? Staying?” Mila asked me, and I found myself nodding.
“I’ll be here through Thanksgiving at least,” I told her. My original intent when I’d thought I’d have Trap’s house to myself was to stay until I heard from the hospital. But now it seemed a risky venture. If I stayed that long with them, would I be able to walk away without hurting Mila…or Maddox…or myself? There was no telling if I’d even have anything to go back to, but if I did, I had the rest of my residency to complete, and I’d had no plans to leave Hearld Community afterward. I’d thought I’d spend my life there in the ER department.
Mila pulled Chester and Charlotte from where they’d been sitting at the bottom of her bed and then burrowed with them under the covers.
“Okay. Tuck me in, Daddy!”
He pushed the covers up along both sides of her so tight you could clearly see the outline of her under the blankets. She giggled.
