Page 106 of The Last One You Loved
“Don’t walk away from it, McK. The job, your career…that can all be figured out. Love like what you have?lifetime, soulmate kind of love?it doesn’t come around but once.”
I thought of Maddox’s ringtone and smiled.
She was right.
After we hung up, I floated back down the hall. I felt like the pieces of my life I thought had crumbled around me were actually being glued back together into a new shape, a glass jar becoming a stunning vase. Fate giving me this second chance.
? ? ?
We spent Saturday and Sunday mostly in the bed in Maddox’s room. We left the house briefly to go and see Sadie at the hospital and to visit with the people who came by, dropping off food and care packages. But whenever the door closed behind us, we all returned to Maddox’s room where we played games, snacked on the worst kind of food, and watched moreScooby-Doothan I’d ever known existed.
Mila was in heaven, loving the attention and the junk food and being together.
And slowly, Maddox was able to take his eyes off her for longer periods of time.
Sunday night, Mila looked at him and said, “Daddy, I need to go sleep in my own bed. Tomorrow is a school day, and you always say I have to be in my bed on a school night.”
He hesitated, and I wondered if sending her to school, where she’d be completely out of his sight and control, would even be possible for him. I wasn’t her parent, and I couldn’t even imagine seeing her wave goodbye at the schoolroom door so soon after having almost lost her.
“Maybe you should stay home tomorrow,” he said quietly.
“Daddy! No way! We are supposed to start our gingerbread stories tomorrow. We are going to work on them all the way until Christmas. Except, we can’t celebrate Christmas because not everyone does. Did you know that, Daddy?”
He nodded and then added, “Gingerbread stories, huh?”
I reached over and squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him that he could do this, even though I wasn’t sure I could let her go either. “She’s going to be okay. The routine is good for her.”
He stared at me for a long time, throat bobbing.
But he picked her up and carried her back to her room. I plugged in her nightlights and then squished into the bed with her as Maddox broughtThe Day the Unicorns Saved the Worldto his lap. Mila demanded I do the girl voices while Maddox did the boy voices, and she giggled as if nothing had ever gone wrong in her life barely two days ago.
When the story was done, Maddox and I got up, kissed opposite sides of her cheeks, and tucked her in so tight she could barely move. We said our I love yous and were headed for the door when her little voice stopped us.
“Daddy?” Mila asked.
“Yes, Bug-a-Boo?”
“I was really afraid the other day.”
My stomach flipped, clenching tight.
“I know, sweetheart,” he said, returning to her bedside.
“But I’m not anymore.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope, because you’ll always save me.”
Maddox cleared his throat, leaned down, and kissed her forehead again. “Always.”
He walked over to the door where I was waiting for him and flicked on a baby monitor I’d never noticed being there. Mila sighed. “The baby monitor, Daddy? Really? I’m not a baby.”
“No, you’re not, but just like when you’re sick, I can hear you this way if you need me.”
She seemed to consider it for a moment and then just rolled over with Chester and Charlotte in her arms.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward his bedroom. He flicked on the other half of the baby monitor tucked amongst the things on his dresser, adjusting the volume. I tugged at his belt loops, bringing our chests together. I lifted myself on my toes to kiss him. A soft, gentle kiss. It was all we’d been able to do for two days with Mila constantly at our sides. It had none of the heat and torture and passion that he’d kissed me with when we’d brought her home on Friday, or the sensual teasing kisses we’d had before Thanksgiving, but it was still full of love. Love and patience and caring.
