Page 62 of Tripped By Love
I was still fighting to get my body under control until I realized we’d never really settled anything between us. I’d simply told her my deepest, darkest secrets without resolving a thing. Everything deflated as my mind filled with Petty Officer Warren’s broken and bruised body, regret and anger replacing the desire.
Cassidy poked her head out of the room and called out quietly, “We’re in the gym.”
Jonas loped into the room on lanky legs with a grin so large it took over his entire face. He stopped to take in the small exercise space and our sweaty bodies.
“Wow, I don’t think I realized you had all this in here,” he said.
“You’re welcome to use it any time,” Cassidy told him.
His smile grew impossibly wider. “Thanks. You all are so…fucking nice.”
“Language, Jonas,” I tossed out.
Jonas flushed a little. “Sorry. I just… You’re all really cool.”
I snorted out a laugh at his stunned expression. “You’ve been Brady-fied.”
“Tristan calls that the Brady O’Neil Experience…although…maybe…never mind,” Cassidy faded off, turning bright pink. My smile grew as wide as Jonas’s, but he didn’t seem to catch the innuendo that had drifted into Cassidy’s words.
“He listened to all my ideas, Marco. He even said he thought they had a lot of potential. He wants Paisley and Deja to redo an entire song just because of how I’d said it would be better with a retro, seventies vibe until the flute and pipe joined in. He’s having them change their song…because of me…because of what I said.”
I flung an arm over his shoulder and ran my knuckles over the top of his head. “Nice, Jo-Jo.”
He groaned and pushed me off. “You’re sweaty and gross. And stop with the Jo-Jo. It makes me sound like a trained seal or something.”
Cassidy chuckled and then stopped once she realized how serious Jonas was.
I picked up my keys from the cabinet and tossed them at him. He caught them easily.
“I’ll be up in a couple of minutes. Cassidy and I have a few things to finish up,” I said. Her eyes widened, falling to my lips and then trailing down my body before returning to my face.
Jonas was already walking out. “’Kay. I’m going to call Maliyah and tell her about my day.”
“She’ll love hearing about it.”
He was gone as quickly as he’d come, slamming the back door again and making me wince all over.
Cassidy took two steps toward me, and I fisted my hands, afraid that if I touched her, it would be hours before I was back at the apartment instead of minutes. She took in the way I was holding myself and stopped. She brushed a hand over her forehead, rubbing at a spot that wasn’t there.
“I’m being selfish,” she muttered.
“What? No?” I started, but she stopped me with a hand.
“The truth is, Marco, I want you so much that every single part of me is vibrating with it. It isn’t just physical. It’s like my actual being…my soul wants it, too. But right now…I barely have time for the restaurant and Chevelle. I have this huge thing with Ralley hanging over me, and now Clayton has shown up on my doorstep. I don’t know how to give you the time you deserve and not drop something else.”
“I don’t deserve anything from you, Angel. Not one thing. This…”—I flicked a hand between us—“I knew it was wrong. I’m sorry I let us get carried away.”
It hurt to say it, and I could see my words had struck at her as well.
“It isn’t wrong, you big lunk. It’s just really poor timing. I don’t know when my life will get easier… I’m not asking you to wait around in the background, fiddling your hands while I try and sort things…but?”
“I’m not going anywhere. This is where I’m at right now. Here. With you and Chevelle. With Brady.” I meant every word. I’d be there for them. That was my job but also where my heart wanted me to be. Thoughts of Jonas and Maliyah shot through me—parts of my life that I’d kept from everyone for so long and now was being forced to reconcile as Jonas merged himself into my existence here in Grand Orchard.
“You should have more than just the leftover scraps of people’s lives, Marco. You deserve to be the center of somebody’s world. I just…” She looked like she was going to cry. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to give you that. If I’ll ever… Chevelle will always be first.”
I reached for her because I couldn’t not. I pulled her up against my chest, and she settled with her cheek to my shoulder. “Chevelleshouldbe first in your life. He’s your child. I’m not asking or expecting anything from you. We’re adults who shared some damn good kisses. It doesn’t have to be more than that.”
“I want it to be more than that,” she said, and it sounded so much like Chevelle’s whine that I couldn’t help the chuckle that rumbled through me.
It felt right to have her in my arms. Like this was how we were supposed to fit together in a universe full of pieces that didn’t belong. Her curves and lines blended perfectly into mine. Our bodies easily aligned. Maybe it just took time for souls toline up as well. Or maybe they wouldn’t ever fit the way our limbs did. But the truth was, I wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was she, and maybe that was all we needed at this moment. The knowledge that we were both still here.
“Maybe this is all it can be right now,” I said gruffly.
She didn’t respond, but she pulled away slowly, and it felt like a Band-Aid being ripped away. Like losing skin and flesh in the process. It took every single ounce of willpower I owned to not pull her back. Instead, I picked up my water bottle and headed for the door. I looked back, wanting to say something poetic. Wanting to tell her how much she meant to me, regardless of whether we ever kissed again, but I didn’t have the right words. So, I just nodded my chin at her like an idiot and left, knowing my dreams were going to be haunted with all the possibilities that we hadn’t fulfilled.
