Page 21 of Tripped By Love
“Your being here isn’t going to stop that,” I said quietly.
He grimaced. “I know. I just…want to be here if I have to pick up the pieces, you know?”
I got to my feet, picked up my bag, and then looked back down at him. “Just give it some thought. I’m worried that if CPS catches wind of this, they’ll stick you somewhere else untilTíagets back on her feet. I’d rather you be with me than anywhere else.”
I didn’t mean it as a threat, but I could see it struck him that way when it hit him that he could end up in a group home while Maliyah healed. He’d been bounced around for a year after he’d been taken from his mom before ending up with Maliyah, and now he’d been with her for eight years. She would have adopted him by now if Jonas hadn’t been waiting, with some twisted hope, for his mom to get out of jail.
I left him to his thoughts, knowing that if I pushed, it would just send him barreling away, and headed up the stairs. The room Maliyah had set aside for me had never really felt like mine even when it was littered with things that belonged to me. Since leaving for basic training, I’d been back here infrequently?bouts of days or weeks. Since joining Garner Security, I’d been back even less. I always took the holiday shifts so people with parents and siblings, or spouses and children, could spend the time they needed with their loved ones. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about Maliyah and Jonas. It was just that I knew they didn’t need me. Maliyah had made a family for herself long before I’d come around, and they were always there for her and Jonas whether I was there or not.
The twin bed felt too small when I crashed down onto it. I took my phone out to charge it and accidentally thumbed open the messages. Cassidy’s note was the last one I’d received. The one where she’d asked how I was doing. I hadn’t known what to tell her. Hadn’t known if I should have told her the truth, which was that I felt responsible and sad and was aching to return to her and Grand Orchard. I felt like I was abandoning her right as Chevelle’s asshole father had shown up, but I also felt like I couldn’t leave before things were settled here. I’d regret that just as much as not being there for her.
I was torn in a way I hadn’t been since the night I’d refused to conduct the code red my commanding officer had handed down to me. Body split with loyalty going in two directions.
I shook my head away from that thought and back to the message sitting on my phone. It had been shitty to not respond when she’d put herself out there, especially when I’d been the one to blur the lines we’d established.
I tapped open the message box.
ME: Sorry. There was a lot going on. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.
It was then that I looked at the time and grimaced. It was ten o’clock here in Texas. That meant it was eleven there, and she’d be in bed, trying to get some sleep before starting her day at four-thirty again. I hoped she had the phone on silent.
I felt worse when she responded.
ANGEL: I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.
ME: I’m sorry. You were probably sleeping. Go back to bed.
ANGEL: I was in bed, but I wasn’t sleeping.
That hit me in all the wrong ways, making me hard and uncomfortable. The idea of her in bed…long limbs tangled in sheets, wide awake. The things I wanted to do to her in those sheets. The places on her body I wanted to kiss her.
ME: Did Clayton bother you again?
ANGEL: No. I haven’t seen him since yesterday. He said he wouldn’t be back until summer term started. I just have a lot on my mind. The offer from Ralley and feeling guilty about not having enough time for Chevelle. And this…friend…of mine whose foster mom is in the hospital. I’ve been worried about him.
I inhaled sharply.
ME: Is that what we are? Friends?
I shouldn’t have asked. I knew it. Fucking blurring the lines even more.
ANGEL: I like to think so. But maybe I’m just your latest project?
I could see the hurt in her golden eyes even when she wasn’t there. I knew her chin would go up, and her shoulders would go back. If I was right in front of her, she’d try to hide. But then, if I was in front of her, I highly doubted she would have said any of this to me.
ME: You’ve never been a project.
ANGEL: Then, what does that leave?
It was a dangling dare left for me to pick up. One I couldn’t pick up. So many reasons not to left hanging between us.
ME: Friends. We’re friends.
It hurt to lower the wall even this much, because I was afraid that once I gave a little, the rest would come tumbling down after it, including all the emotions I had hidden behind it.
ANGEL: Well, friend, if I don’t try to get some zzz’s I’m not going to be able to function at the restaurant tomorrow.
I hated that I’d kept her this long, even if it was clear she’d already been awake.
