Page 114 of Tripped By Love
I’d been out of control, a reckless twenty-two-year-old hell-bent on proving every bad thing his father had thought of him to be true.
It wasn’t me who was out of control now. Instead, it was the situation. The life I’d chosen to lead. The hidden parts that no one but Jada knew about. The risk that was growing in size and shape and form until it was surrounding us both like a black cloak. A weighted one, hanging heavy on our shoulders.
If anything happened to Jada, I’d never forgive myself. Violet would never forgive me either. I pushed that thought aside. I couldn’t think of Vi now. It was never a good idea, but these days, especially. I could only be grateful that her life had pulled her far away from Jada. That their friendship, while still existent, was more like modern-day pen pals. Text exchanges and video chats instead of slumber parties and shopping sprees. Much like how my relationship with Violet now solely revolved around our married siblings and our shared niece instead of stolen moments both simultaneously glorious and painful.
Jada walked away from me while I was still lost in thought.
Standing in the middle of the heavy, exotically scented garden of the villa, I smelled a honey sweetness and saw lilac eyes flashing before me. I shook myself out of the reverie and followed Jada. Nothing beneficial could come from being lost in those memories.
Chapter Three - Violet
LIGHTS UP
“All the lights couldn't put out the dark,
Running through my heart.”
Performed by Harry Styles
Written by Styles / Hull / Johnson
“Why don’t you want me to come?”Silas asked, frowning as he watched me pack my bags.
“For a lot of reasons that are hard to explain,” I told him, looking up from the dresser drawer to see him staring at me in the mirror’s reflection.
We were a subdued contrast. His dark hair and tan skin a sharp difference to the almost white tones that made up my image. Even my makeup was a muted palette of silver and gray. It was like looking at an old photo. Grays and blacks and whites. Color was missing. The only non-neutral shade was the purple highlights layered in with my natural blonde hair and the lilac of my eyes.
It was like we were the sterile lab and not the color of the outer office. Was I a horrible person to want both?
“Tell me one reason,” he pushed.
I turned slowly to face him. He was beautiful in a lean, stoic kind of way. I didn’t want to put that stoicism to test by hurting him. But waiting would only make it worse. I took a deep breath and said, “Because I think we should break up, and bringing you with me would feel wrong.”
He took a step back almost as if I’d hit him. “You want to break up? With me?” When I didn’t answer right away, he demanded. “Why?”
I searched for the right words, tugging at my braid. Finally, I breathed out a partial truth out. “Because…I think we want different things.”
“Since when?” he demanded.
“Since always,” I replied before turning back to my packing.
“Violet, I don’t understand. Everything is perfect. I thought you loved me,” he said. “I thought we were going to be a team like my parents. I chose you because you’re smart and vibrant and beautiful.”
I didn’t know what to react to first. The “love,” the “choosing” me, or the fact he wanted us to be little mini-mes of his parents.
I’d never once said I loved him. He hadn’t said it either. In truth, I’d been flattered by his attention because in our three years together at UC Berkeley, he’d barely given me the time of day. He’d been the star of our geeky community: valedictorian of our graduating class, internships with the best scientific research firms, and a set of scientific geniuses for parents. He and his life had been like a shiny image of something I thought I wanted. Science and family rolled together.
But the sad truth was, I hadn’t felt for him what I should have. Even sadder, crueler in many ways, was that leaving Silas wasn’t going to break my heart.
Because I’d given it away a long time ago.
“You chose poorly,” I said with a small twist of my lips, trying to lighten our mood with the Indiana Jones reference. Truck and Dawson would have snickered at it, but it just went over Silas’s head.
“Don’t get all snippy at my word choice, Vi,” he snapped, eyes flashing. “I could have had anyone, but I wanted you.”
“Wow. Way to be humble.”
“That isn’t how I meant it,” he replied, blowing out a frustrated breath.
