Page 79 of Crossed By the Stars
He sighed. “The way you found out about theKyodainawas unfortunate. It sent you spiraling. After watching you destroy yourself for too many years, I knew I needed something to focus you before I lost you completely. I thought marriage to Ken’Ichi would do that for you.”
“Forcing me to marry Ken’Ichi would have done the opposite. It would have withered me into a shell of myself.”
“Perhaps. But at the time, I thought it would bring you into the organization. I didn’t realize how much you hated him until the engagement party.”
“And yet you still let it go on.”
“Because we had guests.”
He’d had to save face. Just like now. He was trying to protect his image and the image of theKyodainaby keeping Hiroto’s illness a secret. But in letting a woman take over, he was also showing a weakness that his male-centered organization would not support, just like showing mercy by letting me go had been a weakness. He’d tried to hide my involvement in the FBI raid. He’d tried to lay the arrests in New London at Ken’Ichi’s feet, but the truth had been clear. The FBI had used me to get to my father.
The daughter had betrayed the king, and he’d let her go.
“Has someone found out about Ichika and Hiroto? Is this why they are trying to bring you down? And what has any of it to do with me?” I asked quietly.
“I have many enemies. Inside and outside theKyodaina. I built it by taking over and consolidating many other organizations. Some of those have long memories, just like whoever is coming after you.”
“You don’t think they are the same people?”
“It is unclear. But putting you at thechakaias if you are now taking your place at my side?coming home?will certainly bring the worms out of the ground. We will catch one, if not both.”
“Why thechakai?”
“Because Ichika already put the rumor out into the wind that you were coming as the honored guest. The only way you would be able to hold that position was if I’d accepted you back.”
We sat in silence for a long moment. “I don’t want back in,Otosan.”
His head inclined slightly. “I know. Fate has handed me its retribution. I took Élodie,and now Armaud has taken my daughter.”
WithOtosan,it was unclear whether this bothered him at all, the loss of a daughter or his lover. He hadn’t seemed to mind losing me for two years—or even the years before that when I’d done everything I could to rub my defiance in his face. He’d only cared that I’d shamed our name by cavorting around the world, partying and having sex.
“I wouldn’t return even if I wasn’t in love with Dax,” I told him the truth.
“I know.”
I fingered the bracelet, nervous energy filling me. I didn’t know if I should leave it on the plane when we landed or if I should take it with me. Could I risk anyone else getting hurt because of me? My father’s eyes landed on the bracelet, and I stopped twirling it around my wrist, dropping my arm to my side.
He waved a hand toward the bedroom of the jet.
“There is a change of clothing waiting for you.”
I wanted to ask him if it was worth it, giving up love and decency for power and money, but I didn’t dare. My father had revealed more of himself in this single conversation than he had in the twenty-five years I’d been alive. The revelations were now done, and he expected me to conform one last time to his plans.
And I would. For me. Because there might be a slim chance to get out of this alive and go back to Dax. I’d do it because I owed it to the father I’d betrayed.
Dax
LITTLE LION MAN
“Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck.”
Performed by Mumford & Sons
Written by Dwane / Marshall / Lovett / Mumford
I hit the back of the seatinfront of me several times, forcing it and Terrence forward with my vehemence as I watched the jet fly off into the sky that was slowly coming awake, the deep gray turning into a mixture of orange and pink, glinting off the clouds. The color was a deep contrast to the despair I felt.
