Page 95 of Crossed By the Stars
I wasn’t sure if Jada was right. If Ito-san knew what had really gone down, they wouldn’t want that to come out. If Rana was right about all the different factions, Ito-san would be just an unnecessary piece of the puzzle. One that no longer fit. Her allegiance had been to the man and not the organization.
After Cillian parked us in the underground garage of my building, I carried Jada to the elevator even though it caused daggers to shoot through my knee. I wasn’t prepared to let her go, and she didn’t struggle against me at all. There was no determined voicetelling me to put her down, and it caused more fear and sorrow to flow through me. I may have rescued her body, but I was pretty sure her soul was still kneeling next to her father.
In the apartment, I took her through the bedroom and into the bathroom. I turned on the shower with one hand and then gently put her down. I unzipped the dress, and she continued to let me with no complaints, no snark, no fight. My fear continued to grow. She was in shock. Or maybe I’d lost her completely in a new way. Lost her to the emotions and the images in her head.
I shed my clothes, and I finally got a reaction. Her hands settled on the bulletproof vest, and a sob escaped her. “You shouldn’t ever risk yourself for me. Never. Do you understand?”
I threw the vest off and tugged her into my arms. Her face was pressed against my chest, and mine landed in her dark hair. “You are the only thing on Earth worth risking my life for. I would have no life without you.”
She hadn’t stopped crying. The tears had been a roller coaster of slow to heavy, and now they continued to trail down her face and onto my chest. I held her tightly for several long minutes until they seemed to recede. Then, I reached in and lowered the showerhead so the stream of water would cover our bodies instead of our heads. I proceeded to wash the blood from her arms and hands. As she watched the trail of red go down the drain, it increased her silent cries all over again, her entire body shaking with them.
Stepping out, I wrapped her in a towel and headed for the closet. We’d brought all of her new things to Vanya’s. There was nothing left here, so I pulled out two pairs of my sweats and two T-shirts and returned to her. She was standing exactly where I’d left her, eyes trained on her body in the mirror, looking at something I couldn’t see. The wounds on the inside.
I dressed us both and then picked her up and took her back into the bedroom, sitting her on the edge of the bed.
“Talk to me,” I said, falling to my knees in front of her, the sharp pain that jolted through me nothing compared to what I thought might be going on inside her.
“He saved me, Dax… He pushed me aside and took the bullet that was intended for me. Why? Why would he do that? I was nothing but a disappointment to him,” her voice broke apart.
Cillian appeared in the doorway. “Malone is here. Rana says he wants to talk to Jada.”
“No. He can wait,” I told him. Cruz Malone and the FBI had basically abandoned Jada to this. He hadn’t shown up when she needed him most after she’d risked her life to help him with his case against her father. He didn’t have any of my respect, even if he was someone Dawson trusted.
“I don’t think he will,” Cillian said.
I stood up and pushed his chest, growling, “What the hell do I pay you for then? You let Jada get taken. You can’t keep one man out of my apartment. What the hell do you do?”
His face looked as if I’d slapped him, shock that was quickly hidden. It took my anger and flushed it away, making me feel like an ass as soon as the words settled between us.
“I’m sorry,” I uttered.
“You shouldn’t be. You’re right to feel this way.”
He turned and walked out.
I turned back to Jada, who’d lain down on the bed. I joined her, curling myself around her. I let her cry while I rubbed her back and tried to soothe her, to just be there, letting her know there was someone next to her who loved her and would be there no matter what. Through thick and thin. Through bloodshed as well as happiness. I was hers.
Eventually, her body went still in mine, her breath evening out, sleep taking her. I was still wide awake, reliving all the horrible moments of the last twenty-four hours. The horror of seeing Ito-san’s knife at her throat as they left Vanya’s cottage. The fear I felt in giving chase to her father’s plane. The despair and utter desolation I’d felt seeing her covered in blood on the ground in the Matsudas’ garden. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to sleep again.
There was another gentle tap on the door that I cursed quietly. Rana appeared this time. She eased over to the bed.
“It’s Ito-san. She’s here. She says she needs to see Jada.”
“No.”
“She’s unarmed, handed everything over without us even asking for it. She says she has to give Jada something theOyabuninsisted she have if anything happened to him. That it can’t wait.”
“Just have her give it to you.”
Jada was brought back into the real world from the whispers, and I sent a glare in Rana’s direction.
Rana at least had the grace to look chagrinned before she said, “She says she’ll only give it to Jada.”
“Who will only give me what?” Jada asked. Her voice was hoarse from crying, her eyes puffy. I hated it. I hated every last minute of the grief she’d experienced in the course of the last two weeks.
“No one. Go back to sleep,” I grunted.
She pushed herself out of my arms, sitting up and turning to face Rana. She returned to the poised Jada that I both loved and feared because she was the Jada who often withdrew from me, sending me from her life with a snide comment and a jab to the heart.
