Page 51 of Bittersweet Revenge
Getting fucked by Tiernan is clear in my head. Even if it wasn’t, the fact that my ass is sore would remind me, but it’s the stuff afterward that’s coming back to me in waves.
Inhaling smoke from Tiernan’s lips.
Tiernan on my lap.
Playing with his cock in a nonsexual way and…had I fucking given him a raspberry? What the hell is wrong with me?
Heart in my throat, I wrestle out of the covers and to my feet, needing out of this bed with Tiernan, but when I look down at it, I realize I’m alone. My gaze shoots toward the en suite, but the door is open and the space empty.
I could look around. What I expect to find, I’m not sure. I know everything about who Tiernan is and who his father is. The problem is getting close to Sloan. I need Tiernan for that.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t find something I can use to my benefit or that I can use against Tiernan if I need to.
The twist in my gut nearly knocks me off my feet, swiftly followed by a wave of nausea.
Do it. Fucking do it, do it, Dean.
I take one step, then another, around the bed and toward the nightstand with a keypad on it…but then stop.
“If anyone hurts you, I’ll fucking kill them.”
I shake my head, trying to free my thoughts from Tiernan’s words. Fuck him. Fuck all of them. He didn’t mean that. Myfather thought Sloan would have his back too, and look how that turned out.
I collapse onto the edge of the bed, elbows on my knees, head in my hands, chest hurting while I try to catch my racing breaths. I’d felt so fucking alive last night. With him. How could I feel so alive with the person I’m supposed to hate?
My leg bounces, the room’s spinning, and the second the nausea hits my throat, I know I have to make it to the bathroomnow, or I won’t get there without vomiting all over Tiernan’s floor.
I push to my feet, bump my knee on the bed’s footboard, but don’t stop running until I collapse on the bathroom floor and empty my stomach in the toilet. My gut cramps, and I keep going, losing everything inside me. When there’s no more, I flush and sit with my back against the wall.
Part of me still hates him…but I like him too. Relate to him. See myself in him, and yes, I noticed that before, but it was different while I was being swept up in the moment of his hands on me, the feel of him inside me, then being high.
I’m going to betray Tiernan the same way his father betrayed mine. Does it make it better that I’ll let Tiernan kill me afterward? That I want him to?
He’s not a good person. My thought on that hasn’t changed, but I don’t care that he’s not, and that says just as much about me as it does him.
I force myself to stand, wash my face, then look beneath the sink, where I saw an unopened toothbrush when I grabbed the supplies to clean out.
I brush my teeth, wash my face again, then look at my chest and consider taking a washcloth to that too, but I don’t. I’m going to walk downstairs smelling like him, and if he doesn’t smell like me too, we’re going to have a problem.
I put on my boxer briefs, then find a pair of Tiernan’s shorts in the drawer. Cillian won’t like it. He made it clear yesterday that while he was fine teasing me about Tiernan in the beginning, he doesn’t like me being here, and in Tiernan’s head.
And I am—in his head, I mean. The thought makes me smile, knowing he wants me as much as I want him, even though I know he doesn’t like it any more than I do.
I skip a shirt, wanting to show off Tiernan’s marks because like so many things with him, I find a power in those too.
My feet are quiet across the floor, down the hallway, and to the stairs. I make it halfway down, when Cillian’s angry voice drifts up. “Why the fuck is he alone in your room, T?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Tiernan replies.
“I’m not trying to be a dick here. I’ve never seen you do this, and we don’t know shit about that kid. I just—”
“You’re just going to shut the fuck up before you piss me off. I’m not going to say it again, Cil. You don’t want to piss me off.”
The hairs on the back of my neck prickle at what I’m hearing. I don’t want to come between them, but also fuck Cillian for not trusting me.
Forget that he’s right, but I could have gone through Tiernan’s room, and I didn’t. I won’t hurt him to get to his father.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to get hurt,” Cillian continues.
