Page 65 of Fake-Off with Fate
“Thank you. I feel like a real chicken and you’re the only person I could think of that I wasn’t embarrassed to call. The guys on the team would have a field day if they knew.”
“I’m honored,” I tell him sincerely. “And I won’t tell a soul.” I can’t help myself from teasing him, “You know, unless we need to call in the National Guard or something.”
“Ha, ha. Let’s start with the cereal and go from there.” He pauses a beat before adding, “Please hurry.”
“On my way,” I tell him.
I stop off in the pantry and grab a couple of cans of my dad’s bear spray, even though I don’t really think I’ll need them. I’m pretty sure Jamie is overreacting, but it’s better safe than sorry.
Grabbing my keys, I head out to my car. First stop, cereal. Second stop, grown man locked in his cabin quaking in fear because of all the new friends he’s inadvertently made.
CHAPTER 30
JAMIE
I realizeI’ve hit a new low point in life as I hurry to the front door to make sure it’s locked. Once that task is accomplished, I make my way around the cabin and check the latches on all the windows. I am literally surrounded by bears. Luckily, no one seems aggressive, but that doesn’t mean the threat isn’t there. All it will take is for one to attack to encourage them all.
My next course of action—if you can call it action being that I’m trapped indoors—is to pull all the food out of the kitchen cabinets. I’ll have to do something to placate my visitors should it take Ashlyn awhile to get here. Unfortunately, all I have is a handful of energy bars, a sack of bagels, and a bag of chips. Beads of sweat pop up along my hairline as I imagine the headline that might run with this story. “Pro Hockey Player Killed for Cereal!” Or how about, “Hungry Bears Turn Rogue and Eat Captain of the Ice Breakers.”How is this my life?
While I’d like nothing more than to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head, I’m afraid if I don’t keep a close eye on my visitors, they’ll combine their efforts and break in. Which is why I keep walking from room to room assessing the situation. After twenty minutes, I realize they’re slowly moving closer to the cabin.
Ashlyn arrives with a toot of her horn which causes the bears to turn around and look her way. Nobody runs, so I figure the whole loud noise thing isn’t going to work on them anymore. Looks like all the screaming I’ll be doing will be for naught. But don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be doing it.
I watch Ashlyn open her car door and get out. I want to call to her and tell her it’s not worth the risk, and that she should run, but at the same time, I’m totally mesmerized by the sight of her. She’s wearing the most amazingly sexy dress I have ever seen. It’s almost enough to get me to run out of this house and go to the ball with her. I would surely be the envy of all to have her on my arm.
Opening the door a crack, I hear Ashlyn tell the local bear community, “So you decided to have a party and not invite me, huh?” Her accompanying giggle sounds like wind chimes tinkling in the distance.
Obviously, the bears don’t answer her, but they all appear to be as captivated by her presence as I am.
Ashlyn goes around her car and opens the back door. She removes several grocery bags which she drapes over her arms. Then she walks away from the house toward the woods.What is she doing?
I’m about to ask her when she stops and empties one of the bags on the ground. Three cereal boxes hit the dirt. Ashlyn puts her other bags down before opening the three and meticulously scatters them around. Several bears start to make their way in her direction. Picking up the rest of the groceries, she walks to the other side of the woods where she repeats the process. She zigzags three more times, all the while gently talking to the curious onlookers. Then she heads toward the porch. On her way, she runs into my biggest op. The OG papa bear.
Old papa stands on his hind legs and roars so loud I’m about to run out and sacrifice myself for Ashlyn’s safety. She must sense this because she looks up at me and says, “Slow your roll, Jamie. I’ve got this.”
She dumps her last bag of cereal boxes out before picking them up and chucking the whole lot of them into the woods. My nemesis immediately turns and follows the trajectory of his supper.
Once the path is clear, Ashlyn hurries to the door, pushing me aside to gain entrance. “You weren’t kidding when you said you’d been invaded! I counted sixteen.”
“You were amazing,” I tell her. “You didn’t seem afraid at all.”
She looks up at me with a spooked expression. “I was terrified.”
“You didn’t look it.”
“I made a huge mistake,” she says while pushing past me and flopping onto the couch. She creates enough wind that the slit in her skirt blows open and gives me an unhindered view of her toned legs.Wow!
“What mistake?” I ask. “Because from where I was standing, it looked like you totally had the situation under control.”
Her head shakes slowly from side to side, causing her hair to move like a silk curtain dancing in the breeze. “I gave themallthe food. I was planning to hold some back for when we left but I panicked and gave them everything.”
“Even our supper?” As she came in empty-handed, I’m guessing that’s the case.
“Yup. You got anything left in here?”
“A couple protein bars, some bagels, and a bag of chips.”
She throws her head back against the pillows. “This is why you don’t feed bears, Jamie.”
