Page 45 of Fake-Off with Fate
I hit the fart machine’s remote again which starts a different variation of sounds.
Phillip turns toward me in shock. Trying not to howl with laughter at Phillip’s face, I insist, “I told him he wasn’t well enough to come in, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“What’s wrong with him? Do you still think it’s food poisoning?”
“I’m worried it’s the flu. I hope you’ve had your flu shot, Phillip.”
The panic etched across his face is truly satisfying. “I haven’t had it yet.”
“Maybe you should go do that now,” I suggest.
“But if the mayor has the flu, getting a shot now won’t help me. It takes a couple of weeks to build up the antibodies needed to ward off contamination.”
I give him my best deadpan glare. “Maybe you should plan on spending some time at home then. You know, just to be safe.”
Phillip looks conflicted. It’s clear he doesn’t want to leave me here without him, but he also wants to stay healthy. He takes one step toward the bathroom door, so I click the remote again. This time a long and rumbling serenade explodes from the speaker and echoes off the walls of the small room.
Phillip turns around and practically sprints toward the door leading out of the office. “I think I will go get my flu shot. Please tell your father I’ll continue to stay on top of things from home.”
And just like that, my day gets easier. Now all I have to do is contact Alexander MacDonald’s lawyer and see if he thinks his client might be willing to sell back his land to Maple Falls at the bargain basement price of two and a half million dollars.
CHAPTER 22
JAMIE
I havetwo appointments to see houses with a realtor today. She originally had five places to show me, but three of them backed up against the woods. As I’m not willing to risk life and limb living near bears, I passed on those.
As soon as I’m safely in my car, I call Ashlyn. “Any chance you want to look at some houses?” I ask.
“Are you renting or buying?” she wants to know.
“Does it matter?”
“If you’re buying, I’m coming.”
“But not if I’m renting?” I’m confused.
“Buying is a bigger commitment, and I could have some insights you might need. If you’re renting you’re not liable for problems so it’s not such a big deal.”
“What kind of insights?”
“For instance, I don’t want you buying a house where some horrible crime took place.”
She’s making me nervous. “Are there many of those? Because that is not the way Maple Falls was sold to me.”
“There’s a house on Church Street that’s for sale. I got my first kiss there,” she says.
“And that was a crime somehow?” I’m eager to hear this tale.
She laughingly tells me, “Yes it was, because I never got a second one from Billy Trinkle. After kissing me, he developed a mad crush on my friend Melissa and started dating her.”
“Right up there with treason then, huh?”
“Exactly. And as your fake girlfriend, you really can’t support that kind of offense.”
Ashlyn is adorably funny, and the more I get to know her, the more I’m surprised some smart man hasn’t seen what a catch she is and begged her to marry him. “But if it had worked out with Billy,” I tell her, “You might not have been single today to be my fake girlfriend.”
“Correct,” she says. “So, you see why you can’t buy that house.”
