Page 8 of Freak Camp
But even while she bargained and fought for the best food she could get for Tobias, watched him scarf it down and turn to her with wide eyes to ask for more, she couldn’t escape the thought that if she really cared for him, she would be negotiating for a lethal dose of morphine instead.One quick injection would be Tobias’s ticket out of the camp, the only possible escape besides Special Research and the incinerator.She would be saving him years of pain and abuse, of growing up to be the guards’ plaything, punching bag, and worse.
But every time she thought of ending it, even gently pushing her folded blanket down over his face while he slept, holding it hard until he moved no more, she knew that she couldn’t do it.It might have been the most selfish choice she had ever made, but she could not kill this child, could not take the one bright piece of joy and love out of her life.Unable to make the truly merciful choice, she went for the second-best option: equipping Tobias to survive.
She taught Tobias to keep quiet, to obey quickly and without questions, to avoid attracting attention.She taught him not to run to her or hug her in public, not to show what he wanted, not to want.He was a monster, she told him, and this was how monsters were treated and must behave.There was nothing he or anyone else could do to change it.
She could tell he was a smart child.He listened, and though he didn’t understand at first, the lessons sank in.He did what she taught him, and it made life a little easier for them.That was all Rebecca had to console herself that now, finally, she mattered.She didn’t feel the need to atone for what she’d done, all the curses she’d cast, but she was glad that at last in her life, she was doing real good.
She tried to protect Tobias in every way she could, which was usually about preparing for the worst.When he had food, she warned him there might not be much more.When the guards ignored him for a few days, she reminded him that he might get a beating tomorrow for nothing more than looking at them wrong.When the weather was bearable, she reminded him that in the night it would be too cold, that the next day it could be too hot.
She tried to train him not to have expectations, because then he wouldn’t be broken when they were stripped away.She taught him to fear everything, to accept fear as an everyday condition, and how, when the things he feared came to pass, to make them not matter.
Somehow she kept him alive and as healthy as it was possible to be in Freak Camp, even when there wasn’t enough food to go around, even when that hunter’s kid started talking to Tobias.
Of all the threats facing them every day, that one terrified her the most.Attention from hunters—whether they were grown sadists like Victor or baby hunters like Hawthorne’s son—meant nothing good for her or Tobias.
Tobias believed it all, that the world could always get worse, but she never quite managed to get him to fear the other boy, who could have had him whipped or killed at a word.She just hoped that the first human child he’d met wouldn’t be the thing that broke him.
***
“So, Jake.What didyou learn today?”
Jake straightened, dropping his Game Boy onto the motel bedspread.Dad sat at the small table, writing in his leather notebook.Jake always hated that question when it came from a teacher, but when Dad asked, it was different.Mrs.Morales only asked because she wanted Jake to say he’d learned some dumb lesson about playing nice with the other kids, but when Dad asked, it was important.
“Freak Camp’s got top-notch security for all kinds of supernaturals.They organize all their buildings based on what kind of monster is allowed inside.They’ve never had a runaway.”And I learned baby monsters exist.
“What’d you notice about the guards?”
“They seemed pretty cool.Like they knew what they were doing.None of the monsters could scare them.”
“Yeah?Did you notice any of them slacking off, any weaknesses?”
Jake paused.“The one who walked us around, Officer Todd.Sometimes he wasn’t as careful as the others.He’d stare at one thing for a while instead of always looking around.”
Dad nodded.
Jake hesitated.It was on the tip of his tongue to ask Dad whathe’dlearned in Freak Camp, but he knew that would go nowhere.Instead he asked, “Where to next?Are we picking up the trail of that weird-ass pixie with a thing for Taco Bell?”
Dad snorted.“Back to Albuquerque with you.You’ve got a week or two of school to catch up on.”
“Aww, Dad!I thought we were going to Vegas.Just one night?It’s on the way.”
Dad didn’t give an inch.He never did.“Nope.This time you’re finishing the whole school year in one place.And you’ll keep a lower profile than you did in Kentucky.No more wise-ass ghost stories that get the teachers asking questions.”
Jake fell back on the bed.“Can’t I just, like, be homeschooled?That way no one would notice me.”
Dad huffed out a laugh.“You think I can pull that off while tracking down freaks?Or like you’d actually do your homework without anyone checking it?I don’t think so.What kind of hunter do you think you’d be if you don’t finish fifth grade?”
“Loads of good hunters probably didn’t.Like the ones in the Middle Ages.”
“And they dropped dead after their first flesh wound because they had no idea how to wash or sterilize anything.Or how to calculate fractions when you’re running out of ammo and need to make every ounce of salt count.”
Jake sighed loudly.“Can we at least go see Roger in T or C?”
Dad paused.“Yeah, why the hell not?Bastard’s always got a new book or something no one’s seen yet.Wouldn’t hurt to swing by.”
***
In Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, it wasn’t unusual for heat waves to shimmer over the land.In Roger Harper’s scrapyard of gutted-out cars, the heat could radiate into something like a furnace on the worst summer days.
