Page 46 of Freedom
He found their room and bed without too much trouble, his feet knowing the steps better than his head. Not surprised to find Toby curled into the same ball of alert tension he’d been in last night, Jake tugged him close (Toby likes being held, he said so, this is for him, not for you) so he could whisper in his ear. “We’re leaving in the morning.”
He wasn’t too drunk to feel Tobias twist further in misery. “But you w-w-wanted—to s-stay longer—”
“Nah, Toby. Just however long we wanted to stay, and this is it.” He patted Tobias’s arm. “It’s gonna be okay. Go to sleep.”
~*~
The alcohol let Jakesleep deeper than he had the previous night, though he woke up at what felt like a god-awful early hour, bright sunlight beaming through the window and stabbing his throbbing head. He groaned, lifting one hand to block most of the light, and caught sight of Tobias lying still, head on the pillow beside him, watching.
“Didja get any sleep?”
“Yes, Jake.”
Jake sighed, settling. He wouldn’t ask how much.
Dressing was more of a challenge than it should’ve been, and he was more grateful than he could possibly say for how Tobias handed him everything he was looking for, sometimes before he knew what it was. Bags mostly packed, Jake clapped a hand on Tobias’s shoulder and decided to leave it there as they went down the stairs.
“Coffee,” he groaned as he entered the kitchen, where Roger sat at the table with his newspaper open. “Strong as Virginia moonshine.”
“On the burner where it always is,” Roger grunted.
Tobias helped him pour a mug, and Jake squeezed his shoulder. “You’re a lifesaver, Toby. Got any cereal, Roger?”
“Just the kind you always complain about ’cause it don’t clog your arteries with sugar.”
“I’ll take it.” Jake waved vaguely toward the cabinets, and Tobias took out the cereal box, bowls, and spoons, while Jake pulled the milk out of the fridge.
“Have a seat,” Roger said, and Jake smiled in relief.
They sat down across from Roger, and Jake leaned his knee against Tobias’s. The coffee helped his head more than the food, though he ate too, mostly to set a good example for Tobias. The kid managed to swallow more than a couple of bites this morning, and that was something to be grateful for.
When he reached the bottom of the pot, he looked up at Roger and tried his best for matter-of-fact nonchalance. “So, we’ll finish throwing our bags together, then roll on out of here.”
“All right,” Roger said, his tone impenetrable. He glanced up to meet Jake’s eyes. “Stay in touch, ya hear? Don’t be a stranger. And you can always turn back if you need a place to crash.”
“Thanks,” Jake said. He couldn’t get out much more than that, but he figured Roger would know what it meant.
When they came down with their bags, Roger called to Jake from his study. Jake handed his bag and keys to Tobias and gave him a smile. “Can you set us up in the Eldorado, Toby? I’ll be out in a sec.”
Tobias gave him a tight nod (still not meeting his eyes) and took both bags to the car while Jake turned back to Roger’s study.
“Got a favor to ask,” Roger said, looking him in the eye the way Jake was afraid Toby might never again. “Go from here to Tucson. Alex Rodriguez gave me a call yesterday about something that sounds awfully like a poltergeist raising hell in one of her church member’s homes. I figured you can sort one of those out in your sleep, so I told her you’d stop by.”
Jake nodded. He didn’t know about taking on anything big with Tobias right now, but he could at least handle a poltergeist.
Roger went on. “Look, there’s a reason I told you to go to her when you were looking for another reference for your application to get Tobias out. She has experience with kids who’ve had it rough. She’s good with this sort of thing. A helluva lot better than me. And she’s not an active hunter.”
“Sure, we can stop by.” Alex had been damn nice when he’d met her last year—really listened and put her trust in both him and Tobias, even though she’d never met him—but he didn’t have much faith that Toby would be any more comfortable there than he was here. Still, he appreciated the spirit of the offer. At least Roger still cared. “Thanks again, Rog. For, y’know. Letting us stay and all.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t say it was a picnic, but it’s not the worst trouble a Hawthorne’s given me.” Roger gripped his hand. “Just remember what I said last night, all right? About keeping realistic?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jake was suddenly impatient to go. Just him and Toby in his car with nothing but the open road beneath them, the sure safeguard of solitude, no one with leverage over them (seriously, who did the highway patrol think they were kidding?), and time to rebuild what had fallen apart. “We’ll see you later sometime.”
Once out the door, he all but leaped down the porch stairs like he had when he was a kid. Tobias was already waiting in the passenger seat. Jake stopped for a quick wave to Roger, leaning against the door frame, before getting in and swinging the door shut. As he started the engine and spun the car around the gravel drive, he became aware of the silence, how Tobias was huddled against the passenger door, his body radiating misery in a way Jake hadn’t seen in weeks.
He didn’t know what to say, how to apologize or explain, if he could or should. He didn’t know where they stood after a setback (more like a colossal fuckup) like that. Jake just turned the steering wheel toward the highway and hoped they’d find somewhere between here and Arizona to lick their wounds.
The drive away from Roger’s was quiet. They drove straight west on I-10, no bypasses or divergences, Jake surrendering to wherever the road took them. They didn’t pull out the map, and Tobias didn’t read, sitting with his knees drawn up and arms loosely wrapped around them. Jake tried twice to turn on a tape, but he shut it off both times before the first song ended. They’d had days like this before, he told himself, and they would again.
