Page 95 of Her Soul for a Crown
“What a desire,” Sohon sighed sarcastically.
Reeri bristled. “And what is yours, to drown in a sea of books?”
Sohon quieted, disappearing behind his manuscript.
Anula kicked Reeri’s leg. The bone sang at her touch. “Sohon should put his name on a book. Favorite authors are always remembered.”
A furrowed brow emerged atop the pages. “These are not my stories.”
“But you are telling them. You’re a storyteller, so perhaps write your own stories, ones you make up.”
“Like for children?” His entire head surfaced.
“For anyone.”
Sohon smiled, shy and lopsided, yet as real as the day he had finally left his shrine. Anula rewarded it with one of her own. Reeri’s leg stung anew.
“What about you?” Anula asked Calu.
He did not meet her gaze. Instead, he white-knuckled the page of his book, jaw working as he whispered, “I desire nothing.”
Reeri’s heart pinched. Yet, before he could respond, Calu bolted from the table, crashing through the archive doors. Reeri did not hesitate. He followed Calu down the hall, until the Yakka tipped to the side, the wall catching his fall, and slid to the floor.
“I cannot think of things that I desire,” Calu whispered thickly.
Reeri bent down. “Why not?”
“Because I cannot have them. I cannot have Ratti and I need her. I have tried, Reeri, I have. To connect with any of them, as she always wanted. But these people, this time…they are more wary of me than their ancestors. It is a Heavenly miracle that I made one bargain, but I have not been able to since. The rumors, Heavens, the rumors, Reeri. They speak of how risky it is to bargain with me, that I am a trickster, and now—” He choked off, face red and breathing hitched; a sudden flood of tears rushed down his cheeks.
They struck Reeri’s shadow. Calu had not cried since the day Ratti was taken.
“And now—now—I cannot—I do not have—”
Reeri’s heart cleaved, watching Calu suffer like this. The one who had spoken to him in the aether, despite centuries of his shadows writhing and words lashing. The one who alwaysattempted to lighten the mood, his mood. The one whom he had not touched since that day. Reeri’s hand twitched. He fumbled once, then reached out and placed it on his brother’s shoulder. Warmth spread under his fingers, and Heavens, he had not realized how much he had missed it. Missed the connection, missed the comfort. He squeezed Calu’s shoulder, aching at the thought that his brother felt the same: alone and afraid. “It will all be made right. This will not be your final chance, and Ratti will be here to see you through. To celebrate with you.”
Calu snotted on his sleeve. “What if she is not? If one thing goes wrong, if the blade or the offerings—”
“Your fear is talking, Calu. Do not listen to it. Did Ratti not tell us that, too?”
Calu half snorted, half hiccupped. He wiped his face. “Easy for you to say. You fear nothing.”
If only that were true. Reeri swallowed. “I fear the day I will see our brethren again.”
Calu sniffled. “Why?”
“They may hate me or want me dead. I dread to see the blame staring back at me.”
Calu placed a gentle hand over Reeri’s, as if he already knew. “Despite the fear, you still work toward that day.”
“Of course. I love them, more than I fear them.”
“And when that day comes?”
“I suppose I will have to face my fear.”
Calu caught Reeri in a hug. The same hug Ratti had used to give him. The tightness holding him together, absorbing part of the fear. Reeri did not hate it.
“You have changed,” Calu said, pulling away slowly.
