Page 95 of Possess Me at Midnight
I sigh. It must be late, though I can’t be certain without windows. The heaviness of exhausted limbs and grittiness of tired eyes tell me that my mating tomorrow morning is but hours away.
Resignation weighs on me. This morning, I woke in Ice’s arms. After I healed and loved him, I prepared to fight my brother for the right to become his mate. But nothing went as planned. Tomorrow, I will lie in the arms of another as his mate—the first of many times.
But I’ll always think of Ice.
As I scan the surprisingly well-furnished chamber, the next task is one I both look forward to and dread.
Ice.
I press a trembling hand to my stomach and hold back tears. I’ve shed too many, and they’ve done no good. Now is the time to buck up, do my duty, be proud of my contribution to magickind’s safety and future. Lamenting my own heartbreak serves no purpose.
Except the pain won’t stop.
On leaden feet, I approach the door and raise my hand, drop it, and lift it again. Close my eyes. Then I force myself to knock. No sense in prolonging what I can’t change.
In seconds, Ice whips the door open. His expression is a question, not harsh, but guarded. Hope haunts his beautiful green eyes, and I wish I was seeking him out for any other reason. After what I’ve already asked of him, what comes next hardly seems fair.
But nothing about this situation is.
“Do you want to come in?” he murmurs.
I nod and step into his domain. Quietly, I shut the door behind me, then step closer.
“I’m glad you knocked. I-I have something to say and… If you require me to step aside, if you need that to believe that I love you…” He presses his lips together and pauses, looking as if I’m about to rip him apart. “I await your Renunciation.”
His voice breaks slightly on the last word, nearly yanking my heart from my chest. In a few short words, he’s erased most of my doubts. Yes, I suppose it could be another ploy…but Ice doesn’t seem the type. Straight and to the point, without subterfuge. One of the things I love about him.
“Thank you,” I choke. “I’m sorry it’s…ended like this. Your cooperation for the cause?—”
“I’m not relinquishing you to that wanker MacTavish for everyone else. I’m doing it for you. I might loathe your brother, but I don’t want you at odds with him. I feel Gailene’s absence every single day, and I can’t bear the thought of you suffering his loss. Your sense of duty to magickind would eventually bring you to regret becoming my mate if following your heart cost lives. I don’t want you bearing that burden, either. I won’t go in happiness, but I will go in peace, knowing that your family and conscience will be soothed.”
Is it enough for him? The sad answer is all over his face.
My heart crumbles again.
I struggle to hold back more useless tears. “I truly am sorry.”
“You’re many things, princess.” He takes my hand, his thumb tracing over my knuckles like he’s memorizing their shape. “Among them, too kind to hurt me on purpose.”
Yet I am hurting him all the same. The air between us, the knowledge that this will be the last moment I’m ever alone with him, ever allowed to touch him, is like a funeral cry for my heart.
“Kiss me?”
Ice tenses, every muscle frozen. “I won’t have the willpower to stop at kissing you.”
Another chance to be in Ice’s arms sounds heavenly. Tomorrow, I will give my future to another. What few precious hours remain of tonight are ours.
“I won’t have the willpower to resist.” My voice shakes.
He says nothing more, just looks into my eyes like I’m his sun. His forever. A bittersweet smile stretches across his face.
Then he steps back. “If you go to him tomorrow morning after spending the night with me, he’ll scent me all over you. He’ll know.”
A valid point, and one I should have considered. Lucan’s decision to mate with me requires sacrifice on his part as well, giving up all hope of ever reconciling with Anka. Still, I can’t bring myself to care that Lucan will know I lay in Ice’s arms. We both need this last night to treasure what might have been before we face the cold, unforgiving dawn.
“He’ll know my feelings for you no matter how I spend tonight. Once I speak the Binding words with Lucan, we can never have this moment again. Please… Don’t say no.”
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