Page 99 of Possess Me at Midnight
I feel as if my insides are imploding. I curl my arms around myself and clutch my middle, trying to keep the pain, so much like acid, from spilling into every corner of my aching heart.
Impossible.
Ice steps closer, brushes my hair from my face. “Deep breath, princess. You can do this. I’ll help you.”
“I can’t!” Anger and futility race through me. “I don’t know how to break my own heart. I can’t stand the thought that I’m breaking yours. That you’ll never again look at me the way you are right now, as if I’m your whole world. I can’t bear thinking that, in a handful of minutes, I’ll have no right to even take your hand in mine.”
“Renounce the bastard,” my brother demands. “Every moment you waste is a moment Mathias could be worming deeper into the Council and finding new ways to murder or enslave innocents.”
Bram is right, and I know that. Still, I whirl on him. His eyes—the windows to his soul—are frighteningly blank, as if my words haven’t penetrated the darkness lingering after Mathias’s spell. The brother who raised me would have shown some flicker of remorse. Now? Nothing. “Don’t you think I know that? When have I ever failed to do my duty? I won’t fail you now, either. But I won’t ever forget your threat to disclaim me. And I won’t ever forgive you tearing me from the man I love.”
For an instant, confusion flickers across his features, as if he’s stunned by his own actions. Brow furrowed, he glances between Ice and me, as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle or reconcile something he can’t grasp. Hope leaps into my chest.
“Maybe there’s another way to keep Mathias off the Council. If we could just talk it through…” I murmur, reaching for my brother’s hand.
“No.” The blankness returns to Bram’s eyes as he wedges himself between me and Ice, shoving my beloved warrior away from me. “Have you forgotten that your future mate sits here? The last thing he wants to hear is you profess love for another, Sabelle.”
Lucan sucks in a breath and rises from the sofa. “Stop, Bram.”
Chapter
Thirty-Four
What is Lucan doing?
“Just…stop.” He sighs. “I wondered how deep your sister’s attachment for Rykard is. Now I know.”
“I…” But what do I say? He hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s only tried to save magickind, too. I can’t be angry with him. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh.” He shakes his head as he cups my shoulder. “One of the worst things I’ve ever endured was pouring out my devotion to Anka, trying to persuade her to return home to me, when her heart now seems to be with…another.” He lets loose a bitter laugh. “How big a fool would I be to make the same mistake with you, Sabelle?”
I gasp. Is Lucan saying what I think he’s saying?
Bram whirls on him. “So I should just let her Bind to Ice? Give away one of your best political advantages?”
“I’m saying that I will not Call to her when her heart belongs to someone else. No matter how much I like and respect your sister, even desire her beauty, she and I both know that I will never love her. And the bond of the Call aside, I will never replace him in her heart.”
Nor will I replace Anka in his.
Cursing, Bram races across the floor. “This is war! Sacrifices must be made?—”
“Don’t speak to me of sacrifices!” Lucan snarls. “I lost the mate of my heart fighting for this cause, and I live each day with the fact that she was tortured mercilessly as a means to weaken me—and all of us. What have you given up? A pile of bricks and a bit of your time? From here, it looks like you’ve merely used the war to grow your power.”
I blink, my mouth gaping open. Lucan is being brutally honest with his best chum whilst refusing to Call to me. I’m surprised…and filled with a guilty relief. But everything he says makes sense. Anka is, even now, sleeping in Shock’s bed. Lucan would never have lost her if not for this war. He knows vast pain.
“Mathias could be consolidating his power, talking to Blackbourne and Spencer or any of the other spineless twits and swaying the vote. We must name a candidate today.”
Again, my brother’s delivery might be horribly wrong…but he’s right.
“I will agree to the nomination to fill MacKinnett’s empty seat. I’m simply suggesting that we try to sway the Council without Sabelle as my mate.”
Bram pauses, tapping his toe impatiently. “Your nomination is far more likely to be rejected.”
Lucan shrugs. “Then let’s find another to nominate. But I will not Call to your sister.”
I send Lucan a profoundly grateful if watery stare. “Thank you.”
“You couldn’t bear to Renounce Ice. You weren’t going to be able to Bind to me.” A half smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “So you should thank me. I saved you a great deal of stuttering, I suspect.”
