Page 65 of She Used to Be Nice
“What?”
“I did the orders wrong.”
“Wait, how? I thought we got crazy overcharged or something.”
Avery reread the emailed receipt to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. She pinched her arm, touched her cheeks, rubbed her hands over her thighs—yes, this was reality, and the number on the receipt was not something she could make disappear with an antipsychotic. “I accidentally ordered ten dresses for myself instead of one size ten. Which means I probably did the same for everyone else.”
Morgan didn’t respond right away.Fuck.Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
“Are you saying my cousin Sandra hasfourteendresses on her stoop right now?” Morgan demanded.
“Yes. Shit, yes. I’m so sorry.”
Morgan exhaled loudly. Out Avery’s window, cars honked at a cab driver who failed to immediately respond to a green light, with one driver screaming, “Move, asshole!” Avery slammed the window shut. There was enough tension in her apartment already.
“Jesus Christ, Avery. So now what? Did you call the dress company?”
“I just did.” Avery braced herself again, lowering her voice to barely above a whisper. “Your credit card’s frozen.”
“Frozen?!” Morgan howled. “I just used it to order the flowers! Dammit, Avery!”
Avery rubbed her chest, willing her pulse to slow. This was just a mistake. People made mistakes, didn’t they? Morgan knew that better than anyone. She was there during the fallout after Avery’s mistake senior year. After what shethoughtwas Avery’s mistake senior year.
Because what happened that night was far from a mistake.
And Avery didn’t know how much longer she could pretend that it was.
It would, after all, make no sense to Morgan that Avery messed up the bridesmaids dress orders because she needed to soothe herself after talking to Noah. How much longer could Avery allow Morgan—could Avery alloweveryone—to think she was a mess because that was simply who she was? Was she truly capable of continuing to pretend until the wedding that she wasn’t hiding something? Yet how could she trust that everyone wouldn’t think she was covering up for the fact that she’d cheated? If only everyone knew she’d been doing the opposite: that she’d rather people see her as a cheater instead of a weak, helpless victim. That she’d rather her actions that night be interpreted as something she had control over, instead of something she didn’t.
But she’d had no control. She couldn’t consent.This was all Noah’s fault.
“I’m so sorry, Morgan,” Avery pleaded, pacing back and forth by the foot of her bed. “Just call the credit card company and tell them it’s not fraud. They have to understand, don’t they?”
“Yeah, but now everyone probably has to ship the dresses back to prove it was a mistake before I can even get the refund, which I don’t know if I’ll be able to get because my card is frozen!” Morgan sighed. Loudly and pointedly. “You know what? It’s fine. I doubt we’re the only people in the world who have done this. I’ll call the credit card company and figure it out.”
“No, let me do it. Please. I was the one who did this.”
“Well, they’ll probably need my personal information, so it’s easier for me to do it.” Morgan’s voice was firm. “I got it.”
Then she hung up without saying goodbye.
19
AVERY PULLED HER THROWblanket closer to her neck. The sky on Saturday afternoon was dark, a thunderstorm looming overhead while an episode ofVanderpump Rulesplayed on the television in her living room. Pete was snuggled up beside her on the couch. She hoped hanging out with him would help her feel better about screwing up the Bella Blue order. It had been a long time since she’d had a go-to person to call when she needed some company, though she kept her reason for “needing company” vague. All Pete knew was that the order was delayed, not the exact reason why.
“I’m sure you’ll work it out,” Pete had said when she’d told him what happened on the phone that morning. “You’re busting your ass for this wedding. This is only a minor setback. Don’t worry.”
All Avery had wanted to do was berate herself. But Pete was confident in her ability to fix this. She wished she could believe in herself the same way he did.
“Thanks for saying that,” she said.
“Of course! I’ll come by in a couple hours. We’ll do something to get your mind off of it.”
Now Avery rested her head on Pete’s shoulder. She knew she usually had Morgan to encourage her in moments like these, but besides the fact that Morgan wasn’t Avery’s biggest fan at the moment, Morgan had always had Charlie. Avery wasn’t Morgan’s number one priority the way Morgan was Avery’s. Morgan woulddeny that if Avery ever said it to her face, but the fact of the matter was, things change when your best friend gets a boyfriend, let alone engaged.You can’t have two number-one priorities. It’s just math. Suddenly he becomes her default plus-one to parties and family events, becomes the first person she calls when she needs to vent. It’s not that you as her best friend actively get demoted; it’s more that he just takes your spot.
But Avery had her own person now. Someone she kept updated about the minutiae of her day, like her failed attempts at cooking chicken last weekend—she ended up burning it out of fear of undercooking it—and the squirrel eating a slice of pepperoni pizza that she saw on her walk to Duane Reade. Someone who even comforted her about the bigger stuff, like what was happening today. And it was better than she thought would be possible for her ever again.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.
