Page 54 of She Used to Be Nice
“Especially because I’m pretty sure Ryan is coming to the wedding,” Morgan went on. “It’s not a definite yes yet, but he told Charlie he’s been saving up for the flight.”
Avery groaned. “For fuck’s sake,” she muttered to herself. She slid her gaze to Morgan, who was trying not to frown. “I’m not blamingyou. I know you warned me. I’m just—” Avery dug her fingers into her hair. “It’s obviously going to be hard for me to see him.”
“I know. I completely get it. But you have Pete now, right? And you like him, don’t you?”
Avery gave a reluctant nod. “I like him a lot, Morgan.”
“Good! Then you should try to allow him to make you happy again. Give him that chance. And giveyourselfthat chance. Then bring him to the wedding and show everyone you’ve moved on. It will make them want to move on, too.”
Avery knew Morgan was right. She would love to get to a place where she could bring Pete to the wedding, to not only prove to everyone that she was trying to be a different person now, but to also prove that to herself. And maybe Pete just left a toothbrush at her apartment because he didn’t want to feel like a vagabond after trekking all the way from Staten Island. Or maybe he truly just liked her and wanted to keep seeing her. Either way, it wasn’t like it was a proposal.
Avery swiped idly through Instagram while Morgan flagged the waitress for their check. She paused on a post from The Cut about the Dave Moore case. Another woman had come forward with accusations against him. This time it was actress Robyn Weasley, who claimed she hadn’t gotten the lead role in the show10 Things I Love About Youbecause she refused to perform oral sex on him. He ultimately forced himself on her anyway, and she was so rattled by the experience that she went fifteen years without stepping foot in an audition room. Avery quickly scrolled past the image of his saggy, wrinkled face, which looked like an actual ball sack. Her stomach stayed wedged in her throat as she tried to cleanse her phone screen with other posts.
“Awwww,” Morgan cooed while she also scrolled on her phone. She showed Avery her screen, and Avery’s heart raced as she realized she was looking at a photo booth strip of pictures of Noah and Blair, captionedBest times with my love.
Avery made a gagging sound. Despicable men were truly everywhere, like city rats. “Nobody wants to see that.”
“I think it’s cute!” Morgan used her fingers to zoom in on the post while Avery preoccupied herself with something in the opposite direction to spare even her peripheral vision of Noah’s face. She shoved the last of the chips on the table in her mouth. “I’m happy for Blair. I don’t think she minds the long-distance either. She hasn’t had the best luck with dating. Her mom’s affair really messed with her.”
Avery swallowed her chips. Some of them weren’t chewed enough and scratched her throat on the way down. “Is her mom still with that guy?”
“Yeah. And now she wants to marry him and have his babies. Which is just sick, honestly. He’s like a baby toher.”
Morgan zoomed in on the post again. Avery’s eyes snagged on it before she could look away, her brain taking a snapshot against her will. She saw the satisfied smile on Noah’s face and the twinkle in Blair’s eyes as she laughed and laughed; they were like a black and white sample image on a frame at a home goods store. No matter how hard Avery rubbed her eyes to dissolve the images, they wouldn’t disappear. They only came stronger into view, making the fact of it clear as day: Noah was getting everything he wanted, and Avery was still suffering in silence.
But the wedding was only six months away now. She just had to hold it in a little bit longer.
16
LUSH GREENERY COVERED THEceiling of Gallow Green, giving the illusion of being outside the city under a canopy of trees in a forest. Clusters of pink and white flowers bloomed from each corner and dangled toward the floor. The air smelled sweet, like pine needles, masking the scent of soot that normally permeated the air this side of Manhattan.
“Oh myGod,” Morgan said when she arrived, her long eyelashes fluttering in awe as she admired the space. “This place is stunning.”
Avery beamed, smoothing down her off-the-shoulder sage green dress she’d gotten on sale at Anthropologie. Planning Morgan’s bridal shower lunch with Gabriela had been a lot of fun. Gabriela was footing the bill and therefore led on most of the planning, but she gave Avery tasks that made her feel like she had a big role, too. First, Avery put together a guest list that didn’t include Noah, which was incredibly satisfying and reminded her how much less stressful this event would be compared to the engagement party. Then she spent hours researching evites that matched the restaurant’s ambiance and floral arrangements for all the tables. Gabriela also enlisted Avery to find a cool restaurant to cater from that Morgan’s friends would love, with Gabriela bringing trays of arroz con gandules, tostones, and pernil for family.
Now Avery stood near the front entrance directing guests to the hors d’oeuvres and the poster board with “Morgan’s BridalShower” written in swirly pink script on which they could sign. Guests mingled, signed the poster board, and helped themselves to gold-rimmed flutes of champagne stacked in a tower. Avery allowed herself only one glass to keep her head clear. She vowed, somewhat desperately, to stay optimistic that today would go smoothly, wiping the engagement party from her memory.
“Eat some, Avery,” Gabriela urged, nodding at her homemade spread of food. “Before it gets cold. You must be ravenous.”
Avery realized she was indeed starving after spending all morning setting up and gratefully made herself a plate. Just as she started eating and went to compliment Gabriela on how tender the pernil was, she heard a voice.
“The avocado toast looks soggy.”
Blair’s whisper was too loud, like it was meant to be overheard. Avery turned around. Blair and Emma were standing behind her in line at the main buffet, inspecting the selection of avocado toast, roasted chicken with vegetables, and Caesar salad.
“Welcome, guys!” Avery said brightly, refusing to let anyone to piss her off. “Help yourselves to whatever.”
“Hey, girl!” Blair gestured toward the buffet. “This spread looksdelish. Where’d you cater the food from?”
“The Silver Spoons Dining Room. It’s that New American place on the Upper West Side.” Avery kept her voice within a normal human pitch range, even though Blair did not.
“I’ve heard of them. Didn’t the city close them down for unsanitary conditions? I read somewhere that they gave, like, thirty people norovirus when a cook didn’t wash his hands after handling raw fish.”
All the reviews Avery had read for this restaurant online were positive. Blair had to be lying. But she would not allow Blair to make her feel inadequate anymore, and especially not today.
“Well, luckily there’s no fish from them, so we’ll be okay,” Avery said. “And they were plenty open today, so—”
“Any food can be contaminated with norovirus, though.” Blair waved her hand. “I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
