Page 12 of She Used to Be Nice
“I’m sure you will, bro,” Charlie said. “You went to theesteemedRandall School of Management.” He mocked what was surely proudly printed on Woodford College brochures for prospective students. Woodford’s lacrosse team was D2, but their undergraduate business school was ranked #2 in the country. “If anyone knows anything about business, it’s you.”
“We’ll see,” Noah said bashfully. But there was a current of self-importance under the surface, like he was relishing Charlie’scompliment because he knew it was right. Because he couldn’t imagine a situation where he didn’t win.
He flashed his eyes at Avery again. She really should’ve gouged them out of his face that night.
“Your company sounds cool,” she murmured, trying to sound normal as bile rose in her throat. The image of his eyes, the last thing she saw before he flipped her over on her stomach and pinned her wrists behind her back so hard he left bruises, refused to leave her head. “I mean, not for me. I don’t like animals.” Avery never usually admitted that—she could feel people judging her for it, thinking she was even more of a bitch than she already was—but her visions were grabbing hold of her attention and refusing to let go.
“No?” Noah asked.
“Avery isn’t an animal person,” Charlie explained.
“Yeah, I keep sending her dog memes to change her mind, but it’s not working,” Morgan added. “I really want a golden retriever one day. They’re so cute.”
Avery willed herself to focus. “I got bit by a German shepherd when I was younger, and now all dogs freak me out. So, whatever.”
“And now she’s the kind of coldhearted asshole who didn’t shed a single tear duringMarley and Me.” Morgan grinned lovingly at Avery. “But she’smycoldhearted asshole, so it’s okay.”
Morgan suddenly gasped, like she remembered something, and told everyone about her and Charlie’s tour of the Brooklyn Botanic Garden last week. Morgan had always dreamed of getting married there, and it was Charlie’s idea to take her on a tour of the venue during their trip last weekend, probably because he knew he would pop the question soon. (“Right, babe?” she asked, beaming, to which Charlie shrugged with mock innocence.) Morgan described the beautiful outdoor area for the ceremony and the huge glass dome in which they could have their reception, where you could see all the flowers blooming from inside the hall. Avery smiled and nodded and squealed at each moment that called for a reaction, all while Noah sat mere inches away. Someone get her a medal.
“But we don’t know if we can afford it,” Morgan said with a frown. “So we’ll have to see.”
Charlie put a reassuring hand on his fiancée’s arm. “We’ll do our best, babe. We have awhile to save.”
“Do you have an idea of a date yet?” Avery asked, and suddenly Noah reached over her to grab a forkful of steak tartare. She stiffened at his closeness. She could see every hair on his forearm, every freckle on his skin, the bulging veins revealing the strength he used to pin her down …
“We’re hoping to book about a year from now,” Morgan said. “Maybe less, if it’s available and we can swing it.”
A year. Avery had to be around Noah for a whole year.
She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, forcing herself to stay present as the conversation morphed to rising rent prices. She didn’t know how they’d transitioned to that; in between her blinks she mentally left the table and also Earth.
“One of my coworkers at the ad agency used to live in Bushwick,” Charlie said. “He said it wasn’t too bad of a commute.”
Avery took slow, deep breaths. One year. It sounded long now, but the older you got, the less time it was. Today it was one twenty-fourth of her life, for example, but when she was twenty-nine it would only be one thirtieth. Etcetera. She commanded herself to internalize this or else she’d lose her mind.
“Even that deep in Brooklyn has become pricey, though,” she said. “I considered it before I moved here but I couldn’t afford it.”
“Brooklyn Heights is the same,” Noah agreed. “That’s where I live. Brooklyn is just expensive in general.”
Avery was so glad she lived in Manhattan, where people from Brooklyn rarely made the trek and vice versa. It wasn’t unheard of for New Yorkers to remain firmly, stubbornly in their borough. Avery hoped Noah was one of those. Manhattan washers, after all. In fact, the entire city of New York was hers. He wasn’t allowed any piece of it. She didn’t know or care where he was from originally, but he needed to go back there—now.
“Hold on, Charlie,” Morgan said, her nose scrunched in disgust. “Are you talking about that gross video editor you work with?”
Charlie nodded sheepishly. “The one who got suspended for sending offensive messages about a female producer, yeah …”
“Ooof,” Noah said. “What were the messages?”
He locked eyes with Avery for a beat before they both looked away, Avery’s heart slamming against her ribcage. Then he took a sip of his drink, all casual and unbothered as if they had not been exchanging knowing eye contact all night. The normality of his behavior sickened her. This must’ve been how he acted at school when he heard the story of her infidelity spreading like wildfire through her friend group and the wider lacrosse team. Just took a proverbial sip of his drink and said nothing.
“He wrote, ‘Rachel has the most fuckable ass’ in our corporate-wide group chat,” Charlie said.
“Well, does she?” Noah asked, laughing briefly before adding, “I’m kidding. That’s bad.”
Charlie grimaced. “Yeah. It was clearly meant to be private. I felt kinda bad for him.”
Morgan held her hand up. “I don’t feel bad for him. He shouldn’t be saying that about a female coworker at work. And shesawhis message? Traumatizing.”
Charlie and Morgan spent the next few minutes bickering about the severity of what happened.Practicing for marriage, Avery thought rudely as she drained the rest of her wine. At least they had someone to bicker with. They had someone tobewith, for richer or for poorer and in sickness and in health and all the romance that goes along with that. They had aplan.
