Page 91 of She Used to Be Nice
“About what? There’s nothing left to say.” He didn’t sound unkind. Just neutral. Heart-wrenchingly apathetic.
Avery didn’t know how much time she had with whatever amount of attention Pete was generously offering. He could walk away any minute and she’d be speaking into the abyss. It was now or never. And if he didn’t believe her about what happened senior year, at least Morgan and Charlie still did. Her foundation of support was stronger now, able to stand on its own.
“I wasn’t honest with you about something when we were dating, and I think it made me act like a bitch,” she said.
Pete shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
Avery looked back at the cement bench. “Can we sit?”
“I’m fine right here.” Pete crossed his arms, readjusted his stance so that his messenger bag sat higher on his shoulder. “What could you possibly need to tell me? You’ve done this kind of shit before.”
“I know. But this time it’s different.”
“I really can’t keep doing this, Avery.”
Avery swallowed down the lump in her throat. “You remember Morgan and Charlie, right? Their wedding?”
“Yes. Obviously.” His words were sharp, impatient.
Just come out with it,she thought.You’re taking too long.
“Well, their best man is this guy named Noah, who I also, um, know from school.” She was sputtering a bit. “He, um …”
She hesitated for a long time. Pete waited.
“He raped me.”
Avery averted her gaze, shifting her eyes to stare at the ground. An ant crawled toward the toe of her loafer. She squished it into the concrete.
Then she looked at Pete. His eyes were wide.
“Holy shit,” he gasped.
He put his messenger bag on the ground beside him.
Now she had his attention.
“Yeah …” she said.
“Did Morgan and Charlie know that?” Pete asked.
“Well, no. Not until recently. Senior year I got drunk at a party and Noah brought me to this guy Ronald’s room. He held me down, and …” Avery paused, feeling light-headed. “But nobody saw Noah—they only saw me with who they thought was Ronald. And I was dating my ex at the time, so everyone thought I, um … cheated.” She paused again. “I hardly remembered anything the next morning, and I woke up feeling really … violated.”
She reached over her shoulder and massaged her back, the spot where Noah pressed down the hardest. Pete just looked at her, his lips slightly parted and his eyebrows furrowed, waiting for more.
“Anyway,” she continued. Beads of nervous sweat dotted her forehead. “I felt so dumb for putting myself in a compromised position, you know, getting too drunk and giggling with Noah too much. Like I made him think I was flirting and wanted to sleep with him. And when everyone thought I’d cheated on Ryan, I just went along with that story, because it was easier to admit to being a cheater than it was to admit that someone did this to me. I was terrified to admit that it happened. But now everyone knows the truth. I kind of lost it in Colorado and confronted him in front of everyone.”
Silence lingered between them. Pete’s face was impassive but seemingly in flux, like he was at the crossroads of several different emotions and figuring out which one to lead with.
Finally, he frowned. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Happiness bloomed inside Avery’s chest. He believed her. Make that three people now. “Thanks,” she said.
“I’m just—” Pete ran a hand through his hair as the details of what happened calcified in his mind. “I’m shocked. You always hear about this stuff, but you never think it’ll happen to someone you know.”
“Yeah, well …” Avery shrugged. “Here I am, I guess.”
Pete stayed quiet for a few beats. He appeared at a loss for what to say next. “Well, what are Morgan and Charlie gonna do? If he’s the best man.”
