Page 75 of Possessed By You
He throws the phone on the couch and stalks toward the hallway.
I gape stupidly, standing. “Ben—”
He holds up his hand, which is shaking. “Please.”
He heads to our bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
***
Benjamin is on a phone call when I enter the bedroom twenty minutes later, doubting that I have given him enough time to digest the separation of him and his parents, but it’s not in my nature to retreat or to let him experience this alone.
He hovers by the window, speaking in low tones. At the wordloan, andcancellation, I realize he’s talking to a banker. Whether or not he minds that I’m hearing this, he continues, without a glance back. I sit at the edge of the mattress.
“I’m sure. All direct deposits will cease by the end of the week. Whatever she has previously received from me can remain. From now on, I want her off my account.”
He’s really doing it.
“I’m going out of town, so I’m leaving it to you to see this done. If she contacts the bank, relay to her you’ve been given strict instructions by me regarding her cease of funds. Yes, thank you for your discretion.”
He hangs up and I expect him to speak, then it occurs to me that his mind is so occupied he hasn’t realized I’m here.
“Ben?”
My suspicion is correct. He whirls around, showing me the tempestuous storm within his eyes. The chaos clears, and he sucks in a deep inhale.
“How long have you been there?”
“A few minutes.”
“Let’s start packing.”
He crosses the room, removing our luggage from the closet with a grimace.
“You still want to go?”
He flashes me a look of confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Ben.”
“That woman will not impact my life any further than she already has, Darcy. I’m going to London with my wife.”
His tone is not one I’d willingly argue with. I take one of the bags, unzipping it. Benjamin sighs when his phone rings in his pocket.
“It’s probably Dimitri wanting the itinerary,” he says.
“Go on. I can pack this.” I extend my arm and caress the slope of his stubbled jaw, wishing to offer him a moment, just a moment, of understanding.
I don’t know much about parenting, having lost mine when I was young. However, I do know about loss and toxicity. It’s a hollowness that forms within you, a small, sometimesbigportion of your body that hollows out in order to let it go, to continue without bitterness.
It’s never an easy task and cannot be fixed or filled overnight.
It takes caution, and care, and love to replace what’s been lost.
Benjamin’s repairing starts in this marriage and under my soft hand.
Neither of us speak, force words that don’t need to be said.
He’s hurt. I’m sorry for him.
