Page 99 of Possessed By You
My husband is the man I conjured up in those dreams that felt so far away, so unreachable, but thisismy reality. I take a quick picture of them together with my cell phone and send it to Doris, who I know will cherish and understand how good it is to see Benjamin this way. The small cottage we will spend this week in is just up ahead, behind a white picket fence and gardens upon gardens of flowers. Tiffany scouted the place almost a month ago and sent me the picture. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with the beachside cottage’s simplicity.
I comb back Benjamin’s hair softly, and his dark eyelashes flutter.
“We’re here,” I say quietly, not wishing to wake Daniel. I take Daniel from him so he can retrieve the bags with Dimitri, stepping along the pebbled pathway to the stairs leading to a wraparound porch. Right behind me, Benjamin unlocks the door.
The car engine starts, and Dimitri drives away, heading down the road to a separate cabin where he will stay. Benjamin slides through the doorway, carrying every bag we’ve brought. I giggle, pressing down on my lips when he drops one of them on the wood planks with a grimace. To our relief, the small bundle of energy in my arms doesn’t stir whatsoever. I move through the house, checking the doors and finding a kid’s room. A crib has been brought in, no doubt because Tiffany thinks of everything.
When Benjamin appears, handing me his bag, I’m able to lay Daniel down to change him into pajamas. His eyes part with reluctance at my movements, but his thumb is in his mouth and he is more than ready for me to settle him down for the night. He yawns against my throat as I rock him soothingly, rubbing my hand over his back.
At home, I play him lullabies, or sometimes “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to get him to drift off, but I didn’t pack anything. Today, I hum the start to the Judy Garland classic, and eventually the vibrations become words. I sing to him, swaying to the imaginary orchestra in my head.
“If happy little blue birds fly, beyond the rainbow…”
I near the end of the song, my own eyelids heavy from listening to the sound of his heartbeat slowing against my chest, and Benjamin is standing in the doorway, leaning against the threshold as if he’s been there a while. My cheeks flush slightly at being caught, but the contentment on his face relieves me of embarrassment. I settle Daniel into the crib as gently as I can. Benjamin turns on the monitor, adjusting the microphone volume. I turn to check that he doesn’t close the door the entire way, but I don’t have to. He’s left it ajar.
“I swear there for a moment I thought he was going to wake up.” I kick off my heels after we close ourselves off in the bedroom. Furnished with whitewashed furniture and seashells on every surface, the room couldn’t resemble the beach more if it tried. Such a distinct difference from our apartment, I admire the fragility, the feminine ambiance of the room while I unzip the back of my dress, dropping it around my ankles.
“He likes his sleep like his mother.”
He can’t see me gape at the admission since his attention is on unknotting his tie. I can’t argue with that.
“Well, you know, I’m actually rather awake right now,” I state suggestively, placing the red dress over the chair. Benjamin’s gaze is on me, his eyes slanted playfully while he unbuttons his dress shirt, intuitive enough to know what I’m implying.
“Is that so?”
The blush that spreads across my face is betraying. His shirt parts as the last button slips under his fingers, and my mouth dries. I avert my gaze to conceal how easily he can stun me. My bag is open on the dresser, and I take out my nightgown. Suddenly I’m pressed against his front, my thighs easing into the wood drawer.
My eyes meet his in the mirror in front of us.
Sliding his arms under mine, he takes the nightgown and drops it down into the bag. “You won’t need that.”
A magnificent force of man behind me, I can’t help but wonder if I pale in comparison, especially scantily clad, the lasting effects of Daniel’s birth marked on my body forever. I should regard the stretch marks as simply another battle wound, one of many, but compared to the towering god-like specimen holding me, it’s hard to retain my confidence.
At the way my arms instinctively move to cover my stomach, he catches them, holding my wrists. He only lets them go to nudge my chin, to force me to look at him. He stares down at me, his lips turned up on the corners, bringing out his soft dimples.
“Don’t hide from me.”
My chuckle lacks weight.
“At every moment of every day, I dream of your body, Darcy. Don’t hide it from me.”
My arms drop at his command, my limbs becoming like jelly.
“Touch me,” he whispers, scaling his hand over the length of me, his palm gliding over my curves. Stopping at the base of my waist, his fingers tense, gripping down on my hip to spin me. Stumbling, drunk on his proximity and the smell of sea salt that has somehow already scented his skin, I lay my hands upon him, enjoying the way his chest extends and then falls at my charge. I dip my tongue into the crevice between his pecs, my fingers working on removing his belt, multi-tasking at its finest.
He tilts my head to gain access to my mouth. “Christ, I’m already hard and you’ve barely touched me.”
We’ve both gasped enough air, our lips hovering against each other in anticipation when the sound of the baby monitor picks up a soft whimpering coming from Daniel. We let the breath go on an exhale collectively.
“Damn,” he sighs, releasing me. I pick up his dress shirt from the floor and we glance at each other, both wearing disbelieving grins while I work on the buttons. “You look way too good wearing my clothes.”
“Pray I can get him down quickly.”
When I open on the door, I’m not shocked to find Daniel bouncing on his feet, irritated and wailing now. His tear-streaked cheeks are beginning to splotch red while he waves his arms out for me to pick him up.
“Danny, what’s wrong?”
The minute he’s in my arms, his cries become hiccups, his head falling exhaustedly onto my shoulder for comfort. I lower the volume to the monitor so the entire house doesn’t echo with his cries. Since he doesn’t need a change, I take a seat, unbuttoning the shirt enough to see if he’s hungry. He latches onto my nipple, his small fingers curling into my chest, which calms the part of me that was nervous it was a nightmare that woke him. With no choice but to stay until he’s full and sleepy, I lean back into the chair, planning to lull Danny to sleep.
