Page 20 of SapphicLover69
“And whose fault is that?” Beth reached over and took my hand. “Honey, you don’t have to reveal anything about yourself that you don’t want to. Just don’t be sad about folks not knowing the real you. Most of us aren’t mind readers, you know.”
“I realize Aspen Wolfe is a pseudonym,” Tammy admitted, “but you’re a real person, sitting right here with us. And you can’t write like you do without revealing some of yourself. Winter spent the whole day with you and never once was repulsed. I suspect SapphicLover69 doesn’t know the real you at all.”
I opened my mouth, ready to tell them my given name and admit an ocean of deficiencies, when a knock sounded at the door.
“Ms. Wolfe, it’s Detective Campbell. We’re all done in your room.”
Saved by the bell,I thought.Perhaps another time.
Chapter 11
Brave New Worlds
Ibarely slept, tossing and turning, unable to escape the fact someone here was out to get me. Oh, they probably wouldn’t physically attack me; I mean, that would be too risky. Still, there were a million ways SapphicLover69 could ruin the conference, using me to do it. Hopefully, she’d stick to harassing me and leave everyone else alone.
She ripped up my books and the outfit I’d worn at the book fair,I contemplated,while leaving other things alone. That has to mean something. I thanked all the gods and goddesses she hadn’t stolen or destroyed my laptop. A few of my other clothes had been crumpled or damaged but not the formal gown for the awards dinner.Was it an oversight, or on purpose?
I dragged myself into the shower, hoping the hot jets would reinvigorate my lethargic body. After towel-drying my medium-length, medium-brown, ordinary hair, I applied my makeup as Alice had taught me. Because I needed something to perk me upand because they always made me feel sexy—even though Mary Jones was anything but—I donned my red silk and lace Victoria’s Secret bra and panty set. I smiled in the mirror at how they made my average-shaped body look a little more tantalizing.No one will see them anyway. They’ll be my little secret—well, mine and Victoria’s.
Needing clothes that would work well with the bold color and fabric, I selected black slacks, a snug, crimson V-neck pullover, and sockless, black canvas slip-on shoes etched with decorative white swirls. It was something I pictured Aspen would choose as casual wear.Now, what to do with this hair?I’d had the curling iron heating, and the bottle of spray was right there … along with mousse and anti-humidity sealer Alice had packed for me.I’m not supposed to use all of them, am I?
If I had a lick of sense, I’d have trusted Beth and asked her to do my hair. But I still had enough of Mary inside to be insecure and was afraid to let anyone know I was a novice at this, that a popular, up-and-coming, erotic romance author didn’t even know how to style her hair without help.
As I stared in indecision at my reflection in the mirror, a knock rapped on my door. “You know you don’t need hours to look stunning, Aspen,” Tammy hollered. “We’re ready to eat.”
Oh, screw it!Making a daring command decision, I snatched a scrunchy off the Italian marble vanity and twisted it around a mid-skull-height tail.At least I shouldn’t sweat too much with it like this.
When I exited my room, they were all waiting for me in the hallway. Self-reliant, brawny Tammy narrowed her eyes at me. “You look like you didn’t sleep at all.”
“Oh, of course she didn’t, silly sweetheart,” Beth chided. “Poor dear had quite a fright, but don’t you worry a bit,” she aimed at me. “You look beautiful, and we’ll be your valiant shield from the spiteful arrows of small-minded people.”
“Thanks,” I said and joined my posse.
Elaine beheld me with sincere compassion. “I heard about what happened last night. Beth is right, Aspen; we’re all here for you.”
Such devotion from women who barely knew me truly touched my soul. I’d spent the vast majority of my life trying to fit in somewhere and never quite accomplishing it. I couldn’t be straight to please my parents and classmates. Neither butch nor femme, I didn’t even have a lesbian identity. I couldn’t utter a word about my sexuality to my peers or students when I was teaching, and, when I quit to focus on writing, I found most of my friends were people I communicated with over the internet rather than in person, friends who only knew me as Aspen Wolfe—the exciting, courageous, foxy persona I had fabricated to represent my books.
Right then, in that hotel hallway, I felt an undeniable comradery with these unlikely women more powerful and absolute than any I could recall since the innocence of my early childhood. It was most baffling and wonderful.
Winter peered at me through her silly, round glasses, laying bare the deep concern radiating from the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. She bit her lip and swallowed. “I know I’m not Tammy and can’t yank her up by the scruff of her neck and kick her in the butt,” Winter whispered. “But I’m smart and quick. If this evil swine makes a try for you, I’ll be right by your side to trip her up somehow.”
With each passing moment, my affection for her grew, and my smile reflected the sincerity of my feelings. “I appreciate it.”
We ate at the coffee shop attached to the lobby and headed up to the twenty-third floor, where the panels and presentations would soon begin.
“Is everyone happy with ‘How To Be Your Own Editor Sometimes’?” Beth asked.
Since the five of us filled the elevator car, Winter’s shoulder brushed against mine. Even though our skin didn’t touch through our short sleeves, a tickle of electric heat wiggled its way into my veins at her nearness. I shook my head, thinking it had just been far too long since I’d enjoyed sex … or a kiss … or even a date. I needed to think about something besides Winter Bliss.
“Sounds good to me,” I voted.
“There’s also a panel on world-building,” Elaine mentioned. “I’m sure Winter and I could benefit from it, but Tammy’s already an expert and Aspen writes contemporary romance, so …” She flicked a questioning glance at me. Why did I have to be the deciding vote?
“Look, it isn’t necessary for all four of you to station yourselves around me the entire day,” I said. “It’s inconceivable she’d try something in front of hundreds of witnesses.”
“Yes, but we’re attending presentations specifically to observe how other attendees act and look at you,” Tammy clarified. “Where you go, I go.”
The elevator doors opened into a bustling foyer of noisily chatting women. I sighed and met Tammy’s gaze. “I suppose one day I may decide erotic romance isn’t confined to the here and now. Fairy-tale fantasies have always appealed to me.”
