Page 7 of Mariposa
She’s supposed to be there.
My father was supposed to be there.
I don’t think I can do this without her.
When she walks away from me, back into the kitchen, I stiffen.
My throat tightens like I was punched. I quickly swipe my pained face with the palm of my hand, too ashamed to cry in front of her.
With one suitcase in one hand and my army-issued backpack in the other, I head out the front door of the house I’m no longer welcome in for the last time.
One goodbye done; on to the next.
I lookat the time on my wrist, my watch reflecting that I only have about thirty minutes before I’m rushing to make sure I don’t miss my flight.
“I hate that you’re leaving me. I don’t want you to leave…are you sure you want to do this?” Adam has repeatedly questioned my decision to leave for the military.
“You promised you would be supportive,” I interject.
He frowns and continues to scroll on his phone. “Yeah. I did, but you also promised a lot of things.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I say as I slip on my pants and button them. He shrugs like he’s signaling the conversation is over.
“Who is texting you?”
“My dad. Looks like he’s back in the States after another year-long deployment,” he shakes his head. “He keeps trying to reach me. He doesn’t fucking get it. I don’t want a relationship with him after he abandoned my mother. I’ll never choose him.”
He shuts his phone off and tucks it into his pants.
Adam doesn’t open up about his parents’ divorce much. All I know is that they were teenage parents, and their marriage didn’t last long. He’s never doubted his mother’s side of the story, so he’s never asked for his father’s. Ms. Lillington claims he didn’t want to be a family man anymore, only a soldier first. Adam’s avoided the conversation about his father like the plague, so I never pry to respect that boundary he’s set. He even changed his last name to his mother’s maiden name a few years ago.
His bitter reactions stopped me from trying. He shuts me out every time, shifting topics, but ever since my dad passed away, I feel like I have to say something. I would do anything to be able to look at my phone and see a text from my father again. I don’t know their history because Adam won’t let me in, but perhaps their estranged relationship is salvageable.
“Maybe you should try giving him a chance. I wish my father were still alive. I’d do anything to hear his voice—” I offer softly as I tie my hair back into a bun.
“Please, stop!” He cuts me off across the bed, causing me to jump. I narrow my eyes at him while he places his hands on his waist. “Don’t ever try to influence my relationship with my father again. He’s an asshole, a selfish prick who chose the military over us. Leave it alone, for the last time,” he scoldsme and shuts the conversation down as he stalks towards his bedroom door.
I furrow my brows and swallow his outburst.
He doesn’t mean it. He’s just stressed that I’m leaving…that’s all.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to overstep. I’m just trying to help.” I follow after him. “But please don’t talk to me like that,” I plead, searching for my best friend behind this version of Adam I don’t like. I need him more than ever right now.
His shoulders sag, thinning his lips.
“Yeah…I’m sorry. Let’s get going, okay?” He walks into the hallway, his step casual, and grabs my suitcase for me. It rolls as I stare at my green Converse.
I sigh and follow after. He’s been acting differently lately, but he’s reassured me that we’re fine.
We’re fine.
4
VIOLET
“Okay…I have my e-book, my headphones, my phone, wallet…” I flip through my backpack over the items, checking off my list one by one before I take off for the last time. I’m sure the instructors will take this from me as soon as I arrive, but I’m bringing it anyway.
“All I need is asee you soon, kiss,” I chirp as I zip it back up.
