Page 45 of Mariposa
“No. Now stop complaining and take a shot.”
As I glare at him, he pushes two tall shot glasses my way, and I hesitate. Whenever I get drunk, I feel weightless. My dad’s lifeless body in his casket goes away, and the guilt from how he passed deteriorates.
If only I had stuck to being the quiet one. The one who never asked for anything in return. The reserved one. Why did I have to be adventurous that day?
It’s my fault he’s dead.
Yours.
It’ll always be your fault. That’s why Mom and your sister hate you. You killed him.
“Violet?” Kade’s voice cuts through my self-destructive thoughts. He’s standing behind me with that expression that could make anyone crumble.
I blink up at him, meeting his beautiful, wolf-like eyes with their out-of-this-world, vibrant, colorful, sharpened texture. His presence calms my demons momentarily, but it’s the woman beside him who enraptures me. She’s everything sunny and cheerful, holding onto his biceps almost possessively, like she’s claiming him and making sure I know it.
He has a girlfriend?
Her bright red manicured nails rub his tattoos up and down, and her narrowed gaze looks at me like I’m an unwelcome guest who doesn’t belong here. Her curly blonde hair is parted down the middle and hugs her heart-shaped face. She’s gorgeous. Of course, Kade has a beautiful woman on his arm. I just hate the way it’s making me feel.
This man tasted me off my own fingers last night, and now, he’s on a date.
I dart my vision back to the shots.
“S-sorry, O’Connell, but as of today, you are no longer in the position of being in charge of me.” I chug the shots down one by one. The burn glides down my throat, and with a scrunching nose, my face twists. Booker pats my back and lets out a chuckle.
“Slow down,” Kade warns. “Why can’t you buy her a beer or a margarita?” he scolds Booker.
Booker parts his lips to answer, but I hush him.
“No one orders for me.” I call over to the bartender, “I’ll have another round.”
18
KADE
Mariposa Traicionera by Mana
She’s hammered out of her mind.
She’s out of line,drunk, and attracting every single service member in that beautiful red dress of hers and her annoying yet intoxicating, inebriated giggles. I’m on my fourth glass of whiskey, watching her from the end of the bar, laughing and smiling with Booker.
Each curve of her lips has a flame scorching through my chest while Karen keeps the conversation going. She might as well be talking to a wall. A wall that can’t stand seeing Violet flirt with another man.
I haven’t seen her so…free before, and it’s doing something to me. I’ve never been good at accepting when something feels good. If there’s one thing I fear, it’s happiness. Because it means I have something to lose. I’ve never been able to operate with that hanging over my head since my divorce.
“Kade, want to get out of here?” Karen squeezes my wrist. I hadn’t noticed I was gripping the glass overly tight until Iloosened my grip, and a pins and needles sensation rippled through my palm.
Opening and closing my fist, I tilt my head back to the television with the NFL game.
“No, I want to finish the game first.”
In reality, I want to make sure Violet doesn’t do anything stupid like sleep with Booker. Yes, he’s my friend, but I need to make sure she doesn’t do anything dumb tonight, like drink herself to the point where she’s hanging on the edge of a rooftop, about to fall to her death, or wake up in another man’s bed full of regret.
Booker is respectful, but I don’t like the idea of him crossing any lines with her. I might be a hypocrite for having these thoughts, but his job is on the line, as is mine. I have more to lose if I give in to anything regarding Violet.
What am I thinking? There is and never will be an ‘if.’
She throws her head back at something Booker says. A genuine smile showcases her perfectly aligned white teeth. Her throat bobs with each laugh, and her long, thick, black lashes flutter as she tries to catch her breath. Yet when the joke ends and Booker continues talking to her, she returns to that sullen, distant expression. The mask she likes to wear and play pretend with. The humor she likes to force doesn’t fool me. It may slide with Booker and everyone else, but not me.
