Page 38 of Mariposa
“So what the fuck are you on about?”
I don’t like him saying her name. I don’t want him thinking about her. I don’t like talking about her with another man. Something weird and possessive comes over me. I’ve never felt like this before—not even with Penny.
I want to cut off his tongue just for mentioning her.
“Technically, tomorrow she graduates, right? So, technically speaking, she’s not off-limits anymore and fair game.”
“I mean…” I clear my throat and run a hand through my beard, suddenly feeling like I can burn down the whole building because the way my blood is heating up right now isn’t normal. I need out of this conversation. I’m scared that if I continue to talk about her, my personal conflicted feelings will pour out accidentally, and I can’t have that. I’m trying to stay away from her in every way I can.
“She’s young…she’s…” Tapping my foot up and down, I stutter, slipping over my words, trying to find the right ones.
“She’s what?”
“I think she has a boyfriend.”
“Who?” His voice surges impatiently.
My son. They may be broken up, but who knows? I remember playing those immature, toxic games with Penny, saying we’re over and done, only to get back together a week later.
“I don’t fucking know, Booker. She seems taken, I guess?”
“Well, I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.”
“And why is that?”
“I can’t reveal what’s up my sleeve. All I’ll say is that I like her…I like her a lot.”
Me. Fucking. Too. Asshole.
“Listen, I’m headed to sleep. Keep your personal life personal. At the end of the day, shit like this doesn’t concern me, and I’d like to keep it that way. Goodnight,” I clip back cruelly as I hit the red button, ending our call.
I’m always an asshole, so this behavior shouldn’t be surprising for Booker.
I set my alarm for three in the morning and place it back on the wooden nightstand. Pulling the silver chain downward, Iturn off the lamp, leaving me in darkness. I lie on the pillow with my hands behind my head, gazing at the ceiling as I try to relax.
He’s my best friend and has been for the past twenty-something years…and for the first time since we’ve known each other, I want to hurt him—just because he thinks he has a chance with Violet.
I start to count down in my head again…it’s my trick to help me fall asleep and distract myself from prior missions. Flashes of Hawk’s screams, Kid’s last words, children screaming and dying—flashes of the consequences of war run through my head like they always do at night.
Then, the memory of a pair of brown eyes silences my demons.
I like the bratty, stubborn, pretty student of mine. I’ve looked forward to seeing her every day since we first met. Initially, I wanted to break her, but lately, she’s been breaking me.
Nope, nope, nope. Fuck no. I refuse to let my haunting thoughts belong to another soul—someone capable of ruining me with just one glance. There are walls up for a reason, and I intend to keep them that way.
I throw the blankets off. My feet and palms are on the floor in a split second. I start doing push-ups until I’m exhausted, and my muscles beg me to stop. I lose count after I reach three hundred and sweat starts to drip off my face onto the floor.
My phone rings again, and I grind my teeth until I feel a chip.
I swear to hell if it’s Booker calling again to tell me how much he likes Violet…
“What the fuck do you want?” My chest heaves wildly as I stare at the rain pattering against my window, out of breath. I haven’t pushed myself this hard since I was a young soldier training for the course.
“Dad?”
Adam.
He’s calling me.
