Page 120 of Mariposa
With a heavy heart, my eyelids explode open. A nurse and a male doctor are in the room, and Adam is by my side with darkened half-moons underneath his round brown eyes. I drink him in slowly, trying to process my surroundings. He’s dressed in a button-up shirt with jeans. Everyone looks at me with stiffened shoulders and gaping mouths.
If Adam’s here…that means I’m in Germany.
“Violet? Do you know where you are?” The nurse takes a hesitant step but keeps her confident, yet sympathetic gaze on me. She holds a rectangular electronic device tightly to her chest and waits patiently.
This is all too much. I can’t think straight, but instead focus on the pain that possesses my body and mind. Booker’s dead. And Kade?
My heart races to dangerous limits, tears pool in my eyes, and cling to my lashes as my chest rises and falls wildly. The cold air burns the back of my throat as I struggle to stabilize my emotions.
“Violet. You’re alive. It’s okay. Try to stay calm.” Adam inches closer, skating on a rolling chair. He soothes my leg with the palm of his hand, running it in circles. I flinch away and shoot my palm out until it connects with his arm, slapping him away hard.
“Where’s Booker? Where’s Kade?” I direct at the medical team.
Uniformed men walk in. I only recognize one out of the four soldiers holding broken expressions. Slater. His hazel orbs meet mine, and for the first time since we’ve met, I feel connected to him because I can feel his pain—it matches mine equally.
“Mariposa. Don’t worry about that right now. If you can start by sharing what happened out there, it’d be of great use, and—” A three-star general to his far left starts but gets interrupted.
“Sergeant Shane Booker is resting. He’s dead.” Slater steps forward with tensed arms at his sides. “And Kade O’Connell is presumed dead, with evidence found. We were unable to retrieve his body.” His deep voice cracks, and a tear rolls down one side of his face. Everyone except Adam and Slater remains rigid with neutral, vacant appearances.
How are they not fucking breaking? He just told me we lost two of the most amazing men and soldiers I’d ever met, and my world is crashing down so hard that I’m in hell.
My jaw drops, and I scream furiously, thrashing and hitting the back of my head into my pillow. I try to yank out my I.V.
“No! Send me back out there, Slater! I can find his body! I know where he is! Please! He sacrificed himself for me. Let me get out there and fight!”
More nurses come rushing in. They push through the men and swarm my body. Adam gets up from his chair and walks away with a palm over his mouth. He gives me his back as tears rain down.
“I’m not done! Booker…he was shot in the head. There was so much blood.”
Every single nurse invades my space as I try to stand. Nothing and no one will stop me from trying to find his body! He can’t be dead. I refuse to believe it.
My fist connects with the closest nurse’s cheek. She stumbles into the arms of the doctor and gasps into his shoulder. I look to the following one, ready to fist fight my way out of here, but Slater beelines toward me. He throws his body weight on top of me, crushing me until I can barely breathe. He holds me down as gently as he can, but still, he’s not budging. With both hands curled into my biceps, he restrains me and shields the nurses with his massive chest.
He doesn’t say anything as I try to fight him off. He takes every single blow and kick I give him. He rests his chin on the top of my head and breathes into my ear, his body lurching every time I attack.
“Sedate her now. Give her Diazepam,” the Doctor orders.
My eyes bulge out of my skull.
“No, please! Stop! No…” Slater forces me to look the other way so I can’t see them inject the sedative. I stare at the plain white wall as they continue to restrain me. A swift moment later, my breathing slows, and darkness corners my vision.
“Kade and Shane are dead, Isla. I’m sorry,” Slater somberly mumbles into my ear.
I try to shake my head, but nothing happens.
“Please. Please. No,” I whisper, unable to use my arms or legs. Everything grows quiet. My physical pain depletes and vanishes like it was never there in the first place. I no longer feel the weight of Slater’s body, and the white walls surrounding me are gone.
“No.” I slur weakly. “Kade…”
Closing my eyes, I search for the one man who stole my heart and took it with him, leaving me ruined for the rest of my life. The last thing I feel before I’m overcome by blankets of obsidian are the corners of my mouth lifting into solace. I see him right now. His massive body is dressed in a black shirt with blue jeans. The same outfit he wore at The Drunken Shell when I danced to ‘Mana.’ I see him where he kissed me for the first time, giving me a glimpse of heaven, while waves crashed behind him. If the only place I can see him is when I’m asleep, I’ll gladly die just to get a fraction of the man who changed me forever.
47
VIOLET
The next time I wake up, I’m in the United States. I know this because the name of the hospital is displayed across the nurses’ station. It’s a military hospital, one of the best in the country.
This time, I see my mother and sister waiting for me to wake up. My mother sits in a chair, her upper body hunched over my legs. Her peppered black and white hair rests on my shins like a pillow. Her veiny hands are wrapped around my bandaged ankle, holding it protectively.
