Page 57 of The Depraved Prince
I wanted them to see it.
“Her name is Millie,” I say as I turn back to face my rigid father. He’s bent over on his throne, eyeing me suspiciously.
I sink into my confused thoughts. I lean on one leg, rubbing a hand through my slight beard. I’m usually clean-shaven, but lately, that’s changed. A lot has changed.
“Do you have…feelingsfor the Valkyrie?” he pries with a blanching grimace like he’s stunned with disappointment that I could have any type of empathy for Millie. I can see why. It’s what got my uncle killed. He leans forward, daring me to answer him truthfully.
I laugh. A dark and soft roar dwindles and echoes off the Victorian walls because the thought of me falling for someone is humorous and wild. It comes out so naturally and fast, but then my chuckle disintegrates slowly as I process his accusation because it strikes cords within me—cords that have me wondering the same thing—and it hits home.
I massage my lips with my fingers, and flashbacks of her nipples in my mouth and her lips on mine paralyze me momentarily. The memory of how she held my hand and begged me to stay the night with her fuels the impossible.
I’m falling for this girl. If it’s not love, it’s lust, and I don’t mind lusting for this woman until she shows me what kind of version of love she needs me to accept and show her. It’s whatshe deserves. After reading everything she’s been through…I can relate. Although she’s still full of hope, and I’m full of despair.
After watching her for months on end, stalking her, intruding on her safe space she calls a diary. She’s never been shown unconditional love. Her family left Millie behind without a second glance.
Hell, I don’t know whatloveis, but I would like to say that it’s a privilege to have parents who want you and want the best for you. The guidance everyone requires when they’re born isn’t always given, and she never had someone to look after her in the right way.
I want to be that for her. I want to look after her. Even if I have to do it in the only ways I know how.
She bounced from parent to parent to grandparents; nothing was stable.
“If you’re falling for this girl…you know how it’ll end.”
You don’t need to remind me.
A relationship with a Valkyrie is forbidden. He doesn’t need to remind me.
My father’s icy grumble interrupts my brooding. I quirk a brow at him, and hope sinks into the pit of my stomach as nausea swirls into my mind at his dry empathy. No one wins in this situation, no one but time itself. I glance quickly at the portrait of my uncle Amos near the throne. My father catches my pinned vision and clears his throat before pinning his blue eyes on me.
“Do you want history to repeat itself by having the second-in-line son take over like I did for your uncle because he couldn’t keep his private life private? Attempting to marry someone that’s forbidden? Do you want Kallum to ascend instead of you because my patience has worn thin?”
I pensively place my hands on my hips and pace back and forth as I get lost in my apprehension. I’m never good at confrontation, and I like to avoid it at all costs.
Holland leans on his cane, grinning mischievously like he’s won his small victory, challenging me to relinquish my right as King.
Not in this lifetime nor the next.
Through gritted teeth and all the courage I try to find within my broken soul, I muster, “I’ll kill her tonight and find a wife by the end of the month.”
20
HAYDEN
Dear Diary,
I dread the weekends.
It’s another lonely Friday night.
No one is around. No one is around to talk to. No one is around to share a laugh with or the simplicity of their presence. My close friends don’t know what I go home to. They don’t know about the nights I endure. They don’t know that I don’t know how to think straight sometimes. No one knows that some days, I wake up and struggle to go on.
Sometimes, I hate me too.
No one knows…
It’s unfinished.The entry is unfinished because she always signs her name at the bottom. It’s a bit all over the place. And there are wrinkled textured dots amongst the paper, most likely from tears. I close it.
Seconds later, I walk into the room where Millie is staying with a grievous plan I promised to do. She’s been staying in the same room my uncle had his Valkyrie in before he was executed from this dark Earth at the inferno.
