Page 94 of Pretend
Frustration and worry build, forcing me to crumble. I don’t care if he knows about us. I don’t want him to be alone. It’s like these men don’t want to show that they’re human, as if it’s so weak to feel pain.
“No one should be alone after hearing what I said earlier in the conference room. I’m going to find him, and you’re going to let me.”
He places his hands on his hips over his belt. He sighs deeply, rubbing the temples of his forehead.
“Look…fine.” He huffs out. His dark blue eyes soften just abit. “I’ll help you.”
“No, let me do this alone.” I bite my lip as a memory floods my scrambled mind. Kane stops moving and stares at me like I asked him to do something crazy.
“I can’t let you do that, Valentin. Your step-father?—”
“Just please. Let me do this alone.” I quip, urgently grabbing his arm and begging him to understand me. Kane ponders my request with vivid creases near his brows.
“I’ll be careful. Plus…I think I know where he is.”
I pushopen the door to the rooftop of the building alone. Kane stayed behind, guarding my room as if I were still there. The dry air immediately greets me, and I soak it in as I walk forward. A helicopter can be heard from a distance. Its blades whip the air as the moon shines bright over it.
I turn to my right, and sure enough, there’s an ominous dragon on a scarred back facing me. Daegan’s shirtless with only black sweatpants on. His back muscles tighten and untighten as he leans on a railing in front of him.
He’s staring at the sky, smoking a cigarette, like he’s lost in thought. I watch a cloud of smoke swirl into the air as he blows it out. Finally, he puts it out. Then he lets his head fall, and he stares at the ground. He grips the railing tight, his mask tucked under his palm.
I want to help. I want him to open up to me…but only if he wants to. It must be frustrating, dark, and painful in his head. I can’t even imagine the things he’s had to go through and experience firsthand. I only get videos and photos of evidence. He had to live through it.
I stroll toward him and palm the railing when I’m side by side with him. He doesn’t move or acknowledge my presence, and I’m trying not to let it affect me.
Maybe I should leave him alone.
But I’m a bleeding heart, and I can’t help it sometimes.
No one should be alone when they’re going through something. At least, that’s how I feel when I’m going through it.
“Daegan?” I arch a brow, longing to hear his deep voice.
He doesn’t answer me. It’s rare when he doesn’t wear his mask. His scars are on full display, and his waves fall over his face as he continues to ignore me.
“Daegan? Why did you switch with Kane tonight?”
Still…nothing. He won’t talk to me. The side of Daegan that’s familiar to everyone else but me. He’s known for not saying much to everyone in the military, and now he’s doing it to me. But why? What did I do for him to change his demeanor?
“Did I do something, Daegan? Are you…?” I choke up, unsure of my ability to finish that question.
Crap, why am I acting so immature? Why can’t I be honest with him and just ask him if he regrets our secret agreement of just sex?
“Are you having regrets? Do you regret that night?” I whisper softly, making sure no one can hear me. My paranoia gets to me, and I look around the rooftop to make sure we’re truly alone. After doing a 360 glance, we’re in the clear. It’s empty, except for his rucksack.
“Daegan, talk to me. Please?”
Silence.
Daegan locks his jaw over and over again, unbothered. His triceps tighten, and his archangel tattoo catches my attention on his arm. I reach for it slowly and rub my thumb over his scars. They’re soft like it’s still fresh to the touch.
“We’re going to get him, Daegan.”
Nothing.
“He did this to you? Didn’t he? All of these scars are from him?”
He looks at me like I hit a nerve, and then he retracts his arm. I frown when he pulls away from me. I look up at him; his grey eyes are ice-cold, capable of making me freeze so hard I can’t even think.
