Page 127 of Pretend
The man is ruined.
If he’s going to get deployed, he needs to have a clear head. He can’t work like this.
We sit at a large table. Daegan’s little sister is at the far end, sitting in front of her dad. Her back is straight, the respect she has for her father has made her want to be perfect. Her hands are placed on the napkin on her lap. Her light brown hair is tucked perfectly in pigtails. She’s always liked to have her hair like that, and it’s annoying.
Dylan looks more than pleased to see his son again. When he heard the entire family would be reunited tonight, he barbequed steaks and burgers. My mother, on the other hand, doesn’t care to ask for Daegan. She didn’t care that he got hurt overseas and that he was hospitalized here in the states…she resents him for what happened to Dario.
She’s on her fifth glass of wine, and she can’t stop talking.
“So, son. I’m happy to see you’re recovering well.” Dylan tells Daegan after he takes a bite out of his steak. His grey hair is short and gelled. He’s wearing a white sweater and slacks.
Daegan nods and continues to cut his steak with a knife.
My mother scoffs with bitterness, and I clench my jaw.
“Daegan, what the hell did Stella want?” Dario asks after passing him salad. Dario doesn’t like Stella either. All of us siblings don’t. He doesn’t hold what happened to him against Daegan. Never has and never will. But his mother is the one who looked after him and resented him joining the military in the first place.
Daegan grabs the plate from him and smirks. He shrugs, hoping his silence is enough. He doesn’t want to talk about it.
The entire room grows quiet, and I look at my watch every five minutes because the awkwardness of this dinner makes me lose my appetite.
“Oh, we all forgot to pray. Everyone join hands.” My mother clears her throat and reaches for Dario and Dylan.
I stiffen and look at Daegan. His grey eyes darken, and he stops chewing.
“I stopped praying after my mother died.”
My mother’s face reddens. The air turns thick. And I know she’s pissed and, mostly, drunk. Dario stiffens. His little sister grabs Daegans hand and holds it softly. She squeezes it, and Daegan squeezes her hand back. Then, let’s go.
My mother plasters the widest evil smile on her bright red lips. “I believe you should keep praying since your way of thinking almost got my youngest son taken away from me! My son doesn’t get to walk again. But you? You can! We raised you all to be men of God. And now you want to divorce your wife, who is a woman of God, because of a mistake? You want to divorce her for that girl, don’t you? Your boss’s daughter? That whore?”
Daegan bangs his fist on the table, making the silverware and plates chime chaotic and loud. He stands, his jaw clenching as he scoots the chair back, and it hits the wall with a thud. His hands turn into fists as my mother bursts intobewildered laughter. She wipes her mouth with a napkin as her chuckles die down. She sinks into her chair as her smile falters.
“Kylie! That is enough. Daegan is my son.” Mr. Hannibal scolds my mother, and I smirk.
What a hell of a family reunion.
Daegan stands there, breathing heavily, his chest heaving uncontrollably. Alessia is a sensitive subject for him. His nostrils flare, and he lets out a heavy breath through his nose like a bull and stalks off. He leaves the dining room and strolls toward the door. Dylan throws his napkin on his unfinished plate and jogs after Daegan.
“What is the matter with you, Mom? You need to move on. I’m alive, and that’s all that matters.” Dario grabs his mother’s shoulder and shakes his head. She frowns and grows quiet, simmering in her own mess.
“Mother. Easy on the wine, will you?” I smile, amused by the entire interaction. She glances up at me but then quickly gets up from her chair to leave. She’s too ashamed to hold my gaze.
I slug my suit jacket back on, stroll past everyone, and head out the door.
Daegan is waiting for me in the car. He’s in his all-black challenger as his father pleads for him to stay. Daegan doesn’t say anything.
I get in the passenger door and close it. I watch my father give Daegan something. But I can’t tell what it is from the overpowering night sky. He takes it in his hand and puts it into his pocket.
“I love you, son. I don’t know how many times I have to say it for you to believe it.” Dylan pats the hood of the car twice and walks away. His shoulder slump, and his blue eyes water the entire time.
Daegan puts his car into drive and speeds out of the neighborhood.
I light a cigarette for him, and he takes it. He continues to drive in silence as Coldplay plays throughout his speakers. I prepare for another silent drive and silent weeks to come.
But then he lowers the music. He blows out the smoke and turns the steering wheel.
“Alessia left me. Just like my mother did.”
