Page 116 of Pretend
A strange, unwelcoming, and unpleasant silence is in between us, and it’s driving me crazy. I was always supposed to make sure we got here…but the level of authenticity was never supposed to exist.
“Put me out of my goddam misery, baby, and tell me it’s not all in my head? Tell me, I’m yours too? Because you sure as hell are mine. I’m in love with you, and if you’re not in love with me, then give me my soul back by lying to me. Pretend you’re in love with me until you feel it back because I’ve got time. I will wait for you forever, in this lifetime and the next, for you to fall in love with me like I am with you.”
45
ALESSIA
“You’re it for me,Alessia. There is no one else for me. It’s not just this game of lust anymore.”
I lay on Daegan’s scarred chest in disbelief. Surely, a man like him could never commit to a girl like me. I want to say it back, but I can’t find the words. I feel the same, his eyes begging for mercy. His light grey eyes are so bright with unwavering hope, and it kills me. Pure heat travels into my blood, exploding every broken piece and putting me back together when he looks at me like this.
“If I say it back, everything changes, Daegan. When I fall, I fall hard. I’m naive when it comes to these things, and if you hurt me, I don’t think I’ll recover. I’ve had this wall up purposefully to avoid falling in love and getting hurt again. I don’t want to feel that again, and I don’t want to feel it with you.Especially with you. Especially with a man that has made me feel and experience things I thought were dead and truant.”
He looks away from me.
“So…if I honestly say those three words. Can you promise me one more thing?”
“Anything.”
“No more pretending. I want honesty. I want the truth. No more secrets. No more secret relationships. I want this relationship we have behind closed doors to come to light.”
He inhales long and hard, his chest rising and falling slowly, but I can’t tell what’s going through his head.
He nods slowly, and I can’t tell, but a part of me feels like he isn’t being honest—like he’s hiding something.
“I’m in love with you, Daegan. Please don’t break my heart. I am yours.”
He climbs on top of me and grabs a condom from the nightstand. He rips the wrapper open with his teeth. His sharp canines tear it off in a second. He glides it on his massive pierced dick and strokes himself a few times, coating his tip with my wetness before entering me. His movements are slow like he’s savoring every single detail of this night.
After Daegan madelove to me, I felt like I was in my own world. I couldn’t fall asleep, but right after he came inside me with the condom on, he kept whispering I love you in my ear, and every time he did, my heart fluttered, and my breathing stopped.
I’m so in love with this man, it’sscaring me.
As soon as I stand up to go to the restroom, I feel fluids fall out of me. That’s weird. I must be really wet…right?
But when I turn on the lights, more slips out, and I panic. He wore a condom. Why is his come falling out of me?
Did it fucking break?
Shit. It must have broken. Before my mind spirals out of control, I can go into town and find Plan B somewhere. It’ll be okay.
After I’m done using the restroom, I’m staring at the door in front of me. The one he keeps locked at all times. I know I shouldn’t do it, but something is screaming at me to check it. I remember the box of condoms by his nightstand, and I saw a key inside the drawer.
I push his bedroom door open and make sure to walk softly against the wooden floors. I open it and grab the key. My heart drops, and a cold shiver runs down my spine when I see Daegan move in his sleep.
I see his dragon tattoo and his back muscles move, but then he goes still. Holding my breath, I walk out of his room and hold the key tight in my hand to make sure it’s tightly secured to the point it almost breaks my skin.
I’m praying and wishing to myself that it’s the right key, and as soon as it glides in perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece, a small pop follows. I know I just unlocked something mysterious.
I push open the door, and I feel like I’m in a horror movie.
I let the door glide across the wooden floor until it softly hits the other side of the wall. I would have grabbed it before it collided, but the sight before me drained my blood until I ran cold.
There are photographs of me everywhere, pinned to every single wall. They go back to the first day I received a text message in Chrome Beans. I’m sittingthere with my coffee and my book in hand. I’m at El Devine with my favorite cowgirl boots on with my friends. There are photos of mesleeping, photos of me with my ex-boyfriend, Jack, and photos of me with my mother. Photos of meeverywhere. Walking to my car, at the gym, the grocery store.
Daegan? Is he? Is he the one who was stalking me?! Texting me? Leaving me black-painted flowers?
I’m trembling, shaking, the world crashing into itself like a dying star, and my soul shatters. This is insanity. This is crazy. Am I dreaming?
