Page 84 of Pretend
“No.” I defy him, walking closer to him. I haven’t felt so alive in a long time. Daegan sees me when I can’t even see myself, even when I’m staring at my own reflection in a mirror. The way he looks at me, especially right now, with dilated eyes and a clenched jaw. I feel wanted when I don’t even want to be in my own meat suit some days. “I’ve never felt so hot and so cold at the same time, Daegan. You’re the only one who has been able to do that to me. Not Jack, not Zeke.You. I know you’re upset. Show me how upset you are. Don’t tell me.” I tease.
“Youreallywant me to show you just how fucking mad I am, huh?” He questions me like he’s trying to convince me to second-guess my request.
“Yes,” I take one step forward, touching his chest. My heart is thundering as hard as it is in between my legs, starving for his taste, wanting him to give into our desires. As soon as my hand touches his all-black sweater, he spins me around, pushes his chest against my back, and grips my hips tight over my pants. I whimper in pain, and at the same time, my skin bursts into sensual flames. He brings his waist, colliding it with mine in a primal way. His hard size digging into my ass like that one night in his hallway. His palm reaches the center of my neck, squeezing it, but this time he’s not letting me fucking breathe.
His chokehold has me clawing at his palms, scratching his skin, as horror floods my senses. He’s suffocating me with his calloused, rough palms. My brows knit together, and I’m scowling at him.
“Are you sure you want to see just how beyondjealousyI am, my little Valentine?”
I nod, licking my lips, and a depraved smirk crosses his face.
I don’t want it to be safe. I don’t want normal. I want tragic, unremorseful, shattering, lustful, painful sex, and I want it from him. Jack was boring, slow, and very predictable. I always saw what was coming next. Missionary or I was bent over until he chased his own finish line.
“I don’t want you to treat me like I’m fragile. I want you to use me because I want to love sex too…I want you to test my limits that I have never gotten the chance to explore. I want all of those things you told me, but I want the fear you inflict upon me. I want the pain.I want to be your whore.” I admit, and I’m surprised by my own candor.
Will I regret this?
“Fuck… You really don’t know what you’re asking for.”
I push my ass further into his waist, and he’s already huge and hard. “Show me. Teach me.Break me. I want it all.” I counter.
I reach for his pants from behind me, but he stops my wrists. He goes for my throat, squeezing it tactically, fast, and precisely to cut off my air supply without actually hurting me. He pins me against the wall by my throat, my back bangs, and I grin ear to ear.
Something’s come over me. Like a soul being born. A new one.
And it’s because of him.
Pinning me against the wall so I can’t move, he bends down, reaching for my throat, and then I feel his tongue trail the bottom of my neck all the way to my earlobe.
Oh my god.
“On one condition.” I choke out; he stops and instead brushes his nose against me. He leans his forehead on the side of my head.
“No falling in love.” I grit out.
His breathing comes to a stop.
“You want just sex?” He asks.
I nod since he’s making it hard to talk.
“You just want to be my little whore behind closed doors so your step-daddy doesn’t find out how much of a slut you are? You don’t want Admiral Ravenmore finding out that she’s begging one of the team guys to fuck her so hard until she can’t remember her own name? You want to be used, Valentine, is that it?” He coos devilishly into the shell of my ear, sending a cold shiver up my spine.
I nod, trying so hard to suck in a breath.
“Yes. But no—“ he tightens his grip, and I swallow. “Falling in love.”
He clenches his jaw…like he’s pissed about the condition. He can’t be…right? Is this all in my head? This should push him even more to take me the way we both desire.
“Promise me.” I pry again.
“I don’t believe in love, little Valentine. You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t want to make love to you. I want to fuck you so hard that every time you sit down, every time you feel that soreness between your thighs, and the bruises on your ass, you’ll know who you belong to. Your ass, your cunt, this tongue, are all mine.”
“Yes, please.”
“I don’t think you know what you’re asking for. I’m possessive and depraved. I want to punish you for coming here with another man tonight. I want to tear off your pants, take off my belt and choke you with it as I fuck every single one ofyour openings, marking you vindictively. Ever since I licked your wetness off my knife, you are all I fucking think about. You are in my head all the time, you’ve imprinted yourself there without my fucking permission. Don’t you see? If we do this, there’s no going back. You are mine untilI say this is over,” he growls, pulling my hair hard, and I hiss in pain. “Do you understand, little Valentine? Do you still want to go through with this little down-low relationship proposal of yours?”
“I know what I’m asking for,” I retort. “I want all of that…but you scare me. And I think I like that even more.”
