Page 74 of See You Soon
The bookstore was by a massive park. It's very popular for walks, dates, and picnics. For me, it was Shane's favorite spot to hit me. It was my favorite spot until it wasn't. Every time I go to the bookstore I have to pass by this park and it brings back the abusive memories.
"How does it feel to be back home from boot camp?" I ask. It was a cold November night. Thanksgiving was right around the corner and Shane was able to come back home after his graduation before he had to go to his tech school.
"Great." He says sarcastically. He takes a swig of his beer before setting it down in the grass. He has his forearms resting on his knees and I'm leaning on his shoulder, sitting. We're in a secluded area in the park underneath a tree. Bushes circling us in. The park's almost empty as it nears midnight.
He's upset and I don't know why. This is our favorite place to talk, hang out, and do over the clothes stuff. I've missed him so much and I was so excited to see him. But this wasn't the Shane I knew. He had an unfamiliar attitude and he was more aggressive than usual. He was acting like an overconfident entitled prick.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know Ari. Maybe it's because we've been together for a while and you still have this ridiculous underwear rule." He spits, shrugging me off his shoulders.
There he goes again pressuring me to have sex with him. Making me feel guilty about my choices and morals. I wanted to wait until marriage. And I wasn't ready to settle down with anyone, especially Shane.
"Shane. Please let's not fight tonight, please." I sigh. I was annoyed that this had become such a constant fight in our relationship. My phone keeps buzzing so I reached into my pocket. Paul keeps texting me, asking where I'm at. He's complaining that it's late and wants me home but really, he was worried I was with Shane. I text him back, sharing my location, and reassured him that I'm fine.
"Then suck my dick." Shane orders. He stands up, positioning his groin towards my face. I'm taken back by his words. I'm in complete shock and I don't know what to say or do, I freeze, looking up at him.
Was he serious?
I'm still trying to comprehend the situation.
He unzips his pants, finishes his beer, then throws it to the ground. It shatters in pieces and I jump. My whole body flinches and goosebumps erupt on my skin.
"I can't fuck you. So." He pulls out his hard length and strokes it. My eyes widen and I look away.
"Put me in your mouth Ari Cakes. You said you missed me. Show me how much you miss me." His voice is unrecognizable.
"Stop it, Shane. I mean it. Or I'm leaving." I threaten, looking at the bushes to my side.
"Ari. Stop acting like you don't want it." Shane grins and I'm getting on my feet. I shake my head angry and I'm anxious. This was the first time he was forceful with me.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" He stops stroking himself and I'm trying to get passed him. I don't know where I'm going but anywhere is better than here. He grabs me by the hair and pulls me so hard I fall.
My eyes circle and I start shaking.
"Shane! What the hell!" I yell, soothing my scalp. Then he's on top of me, pinning me down with his body weight. Pushing his waist into me and I cry out. I'm attempting to push him off me but he's bigger than me.
He slaps me so hard, he makes my head whip to the other side and I stop screaming. I'm crying now, silently sobbing, holding my cheek. I'm afraid if I scream again, he would hit me.
"Shit, I'm sorry babe. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me." He starts to kiss my cheek and I'm studying him, afraid.
He pushes himself off of me, lifting me off the ground.
He just hit me. The first time he put his hands on me and I'm frozen.
He hit me.
"I'm sorry babe. I am. I just miss you. I want you. I want more from you and I'm sorry... it won't happen again." Shane starts pleading with me to stay longer with him. And I can't talk. I can't move. Instead, I feel guilty that I couldn't give him what he needs.
"This is what you do to me. I love you so much and I just get overly excited to know what it's like to make love to you." He's crying into my shoulder, tears seeping through my thin shirt, holding me so tight against his chest and I'm rubbing his back, confused.
"I just want to make love to you. This is what you do to me." He repeats.
He finally said it. He loves me.
Little did I know, this was just the beginning of the rest of our relationship.
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