Page 45 of See You Soon
Was someone in my room?
I walk in pushing the door open and I gasp, stopping in my tracks. The lights are on and my room is a wreck. My bed was unmade, clothes everywhere on the floor, and my pillow ripped to shreds causing the feathers to be everywhere. I look to my left to the small kitchen area which was also destroyed. The refrigerator opened and the little bit of food I had in there, spilled on the ground.
"What the hell?"
Terror fills my body, and I begin to shake. I grip my backpack straps tight.
Who would do such a thing?
I head straight into my room, taking it all in. It looks like someone was trying to find something orsomeone.And the other half of the room looks like they just destroyed my stuff for their enjoyment.
"I'm assuming your room wasn't like this before you left. What the hell happened here?" Danny asks, welcoming himself into my bedroom, behind me. Danny's body grows tense and I ignore his question, heading towards my bed, looking for my journal. I don't know why but something inside of me tells me to search for it. I had this journal for the past five years. I've written down very personal thoughts and I can't fathom someone having it. Someone reading my darkest, my highest, my desires, my most memorable moments, in their hands.
I look inside my nightstand, pulling the drawer open, and to my dismay, it's gone. My heart drops and I bite my lip, and my fists clench. High pressure threatening to spill over inside of me and I'm angry. Maybe it's just lost in the chaos of the room. I give myself a pinch of hope but doubt creeps in with each attempt of my search.
I try putting everything back together in its place with Danny silently, helping me. I'm hoping with each object back in its place it will show up, but so far nothing.
"Who would do this?" Danny asks while grabbing his phone. His eyes are searching mine but I'm too lost in my thoughts to meet his.
"I have no idea."
I go to the restroom, still in my scrubs, checking if they went through my restroom too. Sure enough, I'm right. Everything I had on my shelves was now on the floor. My little artificial succulent plants were on the floor, books, and makeup palettes. I shudder when I see the picture of Paul and I ripped apart. The frame is shattered, leaving little pieces of glass everywhere. Seeing my favorite photo of Paul and me as kids shredded to pieces breaks me.
A horrible sting pierces through my heart. My eyes begin to water. The pain is too much. Behind the photograph, is a handwritten message from Paul and now it's gone, torn to shreds. He always gave me one photograph before he would deploy with a message on the back. This was the last one he gave me.
Take care of Ma when I'm away and no, you cannot use my PC to play. Love you, baby sis. I'll see you soon. -Paul
I tried to stay strong these past few months and it all comes crashing down, in this moment. I was like a volcano just waiting to erupt. As each month passed, the more I filled with sorrow and finally, this pushed me over the edge.
I fall to my knees holding a few pieces of the picture in my hands, squeezing them tight, and sob uncontrollably.
“How could someone do this?” I sob.
My tears flow down the sides of my cheek fast, my eyes stinging and glossy. My cheeks are red with pain and I close my eyes tightly shut, hoping this is just another horrible nightmare. The ache in my chest feels like I'm just going to die.Heartache. This has to be the shittiest year of my life.
My body makes horrible sobbing noises. I’m breathing heavily as I let my sadness spill over in front of Danny, and I don't care. I’m having an anxiety attack and I can’t stop it.
My head sinks down looking at my hands in my lap, still on my knees. I just couldn't stay strong anymore. I've been pretending to be this strong girl for the past few months since my brother died. Since my mother's world was turned upside down and when I met Danny. I just couldn't hold onto this fake person anymore that pretended couldn't hurt. But I'm human.
I feel strong hands grip my shoulders, and I flinch with Danny's touch. Wanting so badly to swat them away but at the same time, I want him to hold me tighter and never let me go.
"Ari... come here." Danny's voice is hard but low in my ear. He holds onto my biceps, bringing me closer to his body, embracing me. I turn around to face him, sobbing into his upper abdomen area.
"I'm calling the military police. You have to file a police report."
I nod against his body, in his arms, trying to control my breathing. I can feel more relief as the seconds go by, my body pressed up against his. His hands are now tangled up in my hair holding me in place.
"Then you're coming to my room. I'll have the lower enlisted clean this up for you.”
Confusion sets in. And my deepest desires are running rampant. I shake my head.
"No it's okay I'll be f—"
Danny cuts me off, grabbing my chin, and tilting me upwards to face him with his fingers, rapidly.
"I'm not asking. I'm telling you." His blue eyes are so intoxicating and I feel like I'm in a trance. I don't want to argue. Plus… I think I feel safer in his arms than in my bedroom.
Being in his arms is safer than being alone in my bedroom...right?
