Page 80 of See You Soon
Every single second that I'm waiting for her reaction, it feels like forever. I'm going through so many emotions at once, I clutch my stomach trying my hardest to calm down. I didn't want the stress of this to drive me into a miscarriage.
"Ma?" I ask, looking up at her. It's like she's frozen. My questions snap her out of her trance. She readjusts her cardigan across her chest. She's avoiding my gaze and turns on her heels.
"We'll talk about this after the police get here.Anotherpolice report we need to file." She seethes. She's cold-hearted and angry. She pulls out her phone just before she leaves my room and dials 911.
I'm sobbing uncontrollably. My failed attempts to keep myself calm are failing.
Screw this, from now on, I'm sleeping with my brother's Glock and knife. Let's see how tough Shane feels then.
* * *
"Ma'am, I would invest in security cameras. The next time, and hopefully there's no next time, you and your mother will be able to collect solid evidence on who's breaking and entering your home." The same cop that came to my house a few weeks ago answered the call.
He's back here with the same condescending tone, leaning on the doorway. His hand rests on his belt, yawning. He took down our statements and photos of the break-in, filing another report.
"Yup. I'll look into it, sir. Thank you forall your helpand safety that you provide.” I sarcastically nod, crossing my arms. He glares at me before he goes back to chewing on his tobacco. He closes our front door and I instantly lunge to lock it.
Shane cut most of my hair off and left me with short hair. My long hair is no more. I called my hairdresser, Sadie, and pleaded with her to take me in on such short notice, sometime today. Sadie was always booked with clients. She only took appointments but she said I could go in at anytime today.
I turn around from the front door to face my mother. She's sitting on the dining room table, at the end. She has one of her hands tucked into the sleeve of her cardigan. She's fiddling with her cross necklace with the other, as she motions for me to sit down at the table, nodding.
I swallow and walk towards her, dreading every step. I changed into jeans and a white sweater after my quick shower. My head feels lighter with half of my hair gone. I purse my lips and sit down, tucking my hands under my thighs, nervously.
"Quien es el papa, Danny?" My mom breaks the silence with a straightforward question.
Who is the father?
She was diving straight into my situation with no remorse. I didn't expect anything less.
"Yes," I answer softly.
She takes a deep breath and cringes at my answer. Her eyes shut tight and she releases her cross necklace. Her hands fall down to the table and she intertwines them together.
"I just don't know where I went wrong. You were supposed to wait until you were married, Ari Natalia." She stares at my collarbone. "Where's your cross necklace?"
She calls me by full name and I start biting my lip. It's been a while since I heard my middle name fall from her mouth. The last time she said my middle name, I was in high school. I almost failed my math class and she was so angry when I told her I might not graduate with straight A's.
I don't know how to explain to her that my necklace stayed in Iraq when Danny ripped it off right before I had sex for the first time.
"I…" She doesn't let me finish.
"I don't understand...you know this. I've raised you in a Catholic household. One, you're supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. Let alone, get pregnant with a baby out of wedlock." She rushes out, her voice rising.
Her words sting and my hormones are getting the best of me. I won't let her talk to me like this. I was done letting her control every single thing about my life. It was time for me to set boundaries with her. I need to ignore my need to please her with every single decision in my life.
"Ma, stop it."
"How far along are you? I imagine a couple of months." She shrugs her shoulders, her eyes widening with anger and impatience.
"And Danny? Where's he at? He just knocked you up and disappeared? Hasn't called?He probably wants nothing to do with this.How could you be so irresponsible?" Her questions are bursting out of her one after another not giving me a chance to answer them. The way she assumes she knows Danny irritates me. Ever since my brother died, I hadn't recognized myself. The day I met Danny was the day I started to change and grow into a different kind of woman. Danny isn't the only reason for the change in me. He brought out the pieces of me I was ashamed of. He pushes me to my limits. Makes me face my fears with no remorse. I admire him for that.
This was a side of my mother I wasn't aware of. I'm betting she could say the same thing about me. I brush my hands through my hair tucking the short strands behind one of my ears, my anger elevating.
Still, I'm listening to my mother without interrupting her, out of respect.
"You just started your career. You've done such amazing things to make me proud and now this?" She seethes, throwing her hand out in front of her, referencing my surprising pregnancy. Her tone is icy and cold. It's extremely unfamiliar and unpleasant.
"I should have never pushed you to go to his house that day. I thought you were smarter than this, Ari Natalia. What would Paul think that you've slept with his best friend? You should be ashamed of yourself."
