Page 42 of See You Soon
"You've been checking in on Ari since Paul died?" I ask, keeping my voice down. A part of me is angry that Kane has a more personal relationship than I thought, with Ari.
Kane nods.
We follow Ari into the ER hallways, towards ICU. The place is packed full of nurses and doctors. It's a busy night. Meanwhile, I'm trying so hard not to make my gaze obvious. I'm watching Ari's ass as she walks and I'm imagining all the things I would do to her ass if she let me. The thoughts swirl into my head and I can feel blood rushing down.
As soon as we enter Rooker's room, my headspace clears, and I feel relief seeing Rooker awake and smiling. It's a forced,I'm in so much fucking pain, smile. Nonetheless, a smile.
"Damn, you look like shit," I say with a sarcastic grin. I take a seat next to him in an armchair by his bed. He's hooked up to so many machines. The room’s small with a sofa against the other side of the room with a small television in the corner of the room, right under the ceiling.
"Ehh, I've seen him look worst, and this ain't it," Kane adds, chuckling.
Rooker winces, raising his hand up just high enough off the bed, and gives us both the middle finger.
"Nice to see you idiots too." He says looking at me and then at Kane. Ari stands by the door with the biggest smile on her face. I can tell she's proud of herself, looking at us three interact. As she should. She helped save Rooker's life. I’ll forever be grateful to her for that. I can feel a slight pull at my darkened heart as she smiles and I grimace at the feeling.
I need some fucking whiskey.
I can't concentrate or keep my thoughts straight around her. Every time I see her, I think about those nights before my deployment and the hospital room.
Now she stands before meagainand all I want to do is show her what I would have done to her that night before I found out she’s Paul's sister. I would have fucked her all night long until she forgot her own name. Make her come over and over again,painfully.
Out of respect for Paul, I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it. Because my intentions weren't good. Because I want to completelydestroy her.Break her in ways that she'll learn to love.And never call again.
"My shift has ended guys but before I go, do you guys need anything? Rooker?" Ari tiptoes and rocks on her heel as the question rolls off her tongue. Looking at all of us, eager to help.
"No thanks darling, just please keep the morphine coming." Rooker murmurs.
"We're good," I bite my cheek, trying to ignore her. I clench my jaw, while I keep my eyes focused on Rookers' vitals monitor. It's like the more I try to avoid her the more she appears. I don't know how much more I can take before I give in to the lust inside of me that so badly wants to make her mine. Yet deep down, she already is. She just doesn't know it.
"Actually, Ari, can I ask you a question?" Kane admits, walking closer to her. My eyebrows raise up. Oh, I know that tone of voice.I know that tone of voice all too well. We've experienced too many adventures in bars together, for me to recognize what he's about to do. He's going to pull something on her.
Kane leans on the wall with his arm on a whiteboard. Ari seems confused at first and I can't hear them anymore. I keep my vision on Rookers' monitor. Their voices sound muffled and I try to control my seething. I don't like this. I don't like it at all.
Fuck, I need to burn one.
Ari walks away from Kane closing the door shut, softly after her. Their interaction was short but long enough to piss me off. Kane comes back walking towards the other couch, a chip on his shoulder, and he drops his body weight, crossing one of his legs over his knee facing us.
"You did not just hit on a nurse. You know she's Alvarez's sister," Rooker mutters weakly, trying to get himself more comfortable on the hospital bed without pulling on his IV.
"Stay out of it Rooker," Kane orders, getting irritated.
"You know if Paul was here, he would kick your ass for just laying your eyes on her like that." I'm harsh and vindictive. I already feel territorial around Ari and I know this isn't good. I look down at my fingers, popping them one by one before glaring at Kane.
"It's none of your guys' business." Kane snaps. Narrowing his eyes at me, studying my face.
"It actually is. It's all of our business.We allmade a promise to Paul. To watch over her, not hit on her." I challenge back, through gritted teeth. I'm spitting bullshit when I know damn well, I've already crossed lines to discover Ari's mouthwatering taste.
"Actually, we didn't promise that last part." He argues. "A promise that you didn't own up to. Why start now Danny?" He continues to question me like he already knows his own answer. Wrapping his hands together, intertwining them on his lap.
My heart quickens as I feel the rage building up inside of me. Although I know it’s not just rage, it’s something more. Kane and I both stare each other down.
"You never worry about anyone else but your damn self. Isn't that why Paul died, huh? Because of a stupid selfish mistake that got Paul killed?"
I feel like someone grabbed a hammer and hit me in the stomach with it. His words cut me deep, the demons from Paul's death come back in full force, howling over my mind, scratching at my sanity, filling me with familiar guilt I had when he died. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with his death. I finally reached acceptance but his sudden cruel words re-open my constant self-blame that I don't think will ever truly close.
The motherfucker went there.
I stand up, throwing the chair I'm sitting on, back. The chair screeches across the floor, hitting the wall, with a loud thud. My anger getting the best of me. I take a slow step, and I'm thinking about storming over to him. I'm just seeing red at this point and who knows what I’ll do if I get my hands on him.
