Page 100 of See You Soon
There's a reason we don't speak anymore.
My mother was pregnant with my sister. I was a teenager at the time and her pregnancy was high risk due to her age. She went through years of infertility and with the help of doctors, hormones, and medications, thousands of dollars later, she finally carried out a pregnancy that passed two months.
Of course, money’s no problem to my father, a successful businessman worth millions.
But deep down inside his fucked up world, he was worth nothing.
My mom caught him having an affair with one of his employees. The stress and heartache of his betrayal caused her to miscarry at around four months of gestation. She was able to move on from his infidelity but I never have and never will.
Holding my mother's hand during the years she was depressed and couldn't do anything for herself after losing my baby sister, made me resent my father. All the respect I had for him disappeared the day I found out he cheated on my mother. My distant cold behavior towards him doesn't sit well with him which causes us to be estranged.
It wasn’t because of his harsh parenting that made us estranged. It wasn’t because of all the times he physically beat me, punched me, or kicked me as a kid. It wasn’t because he abandoned me as a child, for weeks, on his ranch properties in the middle of nowhere, that needed work when his employees wouldn’t come into work.
No it wasn’t because of that.
It was because he hurt my mother. And that’s a line I’ve made him constantly regret crossing every day.
I can see the beach in the distance and the memory of Ari in her blue bridesmaid dress makes me flinch. She's so fucking beautiful. But not just beautiful in appearance, it's in her ambition. Her need to help people makes her beautiful. The way she trusts people and the way she wears her heart on her sleeve is what makes her so beautiful to me.
Ari is like my ocean. I was caught in her waves of beauty, struggling to get back to shore.Back to my old ways, back to the old me.I’m afraid I’m stuck in her ocean now and I’ll gladly drown in her waters if it means she’ll always be mine.
Kane has always had the ability to read me very well. After failing to rescue Damon, I separated myself from the team and I didn’t want to be near anyone. I didn’t want to talk or even breathe. The smell of burnt flesh made me sick. It hit me hard, changed me, and something about seeing a human burnt alive, took a piece of my sanity with it.
Kane and I talked about our differences while we were transported back to a safe haven created in a secret location amongst enemy lines. Paul was the closest to me but after he passed, Kane, Rooker, and I grew closer. His death scarred us.
Kane regretted placing blame on me that day in front of Ari. He apologized, explaining that he was upset we almost lost Rooker and it brought up emotions surrounding Paul.
"I've known you long enough to know you haven't been okay since the failed mission. I thought you would be happier being homewith Ari."I grind my teeth when I catch his tone as he says my girl’s name.
Something possessive takes hold of me and I want to cut out his tongue just for saying her name. I can't help but feel territorial around what's mine. It’s an unfamiliar feeling and I don’t recognize myself when it comes to Ari. He thinks I don't notice the way he looks at her.But I do.
My body stiffens and I take in a deep breath before letting it out.
We sit in silence and I'm biting my tongue. I hated opening up about anything personal, especially now with all the recent changes. The mother of my child is a new boundary for me but Kane's the only one I could really talk to about this kind of stuff.
I'm not close to my parents and I couldn't go to them in this situation, at least not right now. I want to avoid having their opinions thrown at me left and right. I want to keep Ari safe from their intrusion of opinions and comments about our relationship. She's sacred to me, our relationship is sacred and even if that means I need to protect her from my overly opinionated parents, I'll do just that.
The way I feel about her is something I've never quite felt before with any girl. She inhabits every single part of my mind changing me to be a more vulnerable man. I don't like it but for her, I'll be the man she deserves. It just would take some time.
Clenching my jaw, I decide to give in and show Kane a glimpse of what's been on my mind.
"Ari's pregnant."
Kane's body freezes and he's visibly in shock. I take a quick glance at him before returning my eyes to the road.
"Con—, congratulations man. Happy for you both." Kane stutters. He looks out the window in the opposite direction. He takes a few moments to gather his thoughts. "So, when did you guys, uh, I'm just a bit confused on the timeline... when did this happen—"
I cut him off.
"None of your business. That's all you get." My voice vibrates through my chest.
He nods and rubs his lips together.
"I'm going to be a dad. Me? A dad." I scoff, still in disbelief.
"Why don't you sound happy? This is great news Rider." Kane replies, dumbfounded.
I shake my head.
