Page 120 of Kiss Her Goodbye
I go for the kill shot: “What would Jamil think?”
Her head whips up.The look of raw distress across her faceis almost enough to make me feel guilty.Then again, I’m sick of being lied to, especially by a woman I’m attempting to help.
She’s just opened her mouth, possibly to say something honest, when a man’s scream rips through the open intercoms, immediately followed by a string of cursing, then some muffled banging and thumping, as if someone had run into a wall, repeatedly.
“All right.Intruder one discovered the lone slightly ajar window and took advantage of it to enter the bathroom of the guest bedroom.Where he encountered a closed connecting door.Which he then, unfortunately for him, opened.”
More cursing, a louder thud of something or someone falling.Hmm, this might work out even better than we thought.
“What… what is happening to him?”
“Other side of door: heat lamp and one very large and pissed-off Burmese python.”
Definitely the sound of running feet.I’m glad I’m not the only one afraid of snakes.Though I managed this task.Shaking terribly, trying not to hyperventilate, I bravely donned the welding gloves, then used them to basically shoo a slumbering Marge into a pillowcase.Marge had not appreciated being disturbed, leading to one heavy, writhing load.
But she did like the heat lamp and settled into a strategic position outside the guest bath door.She slithered out of the pillowcase (I managed not to vomit), and true to what I’d read on the internet, coiled up in a massive pile to resume napping in the pool of provided heat.Until, of course, being disturbed a second time by someone crashing through the door.Based on my research, snakes really don’t like that, and constrictors can move remarkably fast when provoked.
After handling Marge, the baby pythons were a breeze.They went into a small box, which Daryl hung up high in the hall outsidethe guest bedroom.At this stage, our intruder has two options.Take a right and head deeper into the house toward the private wing, or take a left and arrive at the vaulted marble foyer, towering living room, then kitchen.Again, big space, can’t watch it all.
Daryl is currently stashed to the right, in Bart’s bedroom, which has a retractable glass wall opening onto the pool area.Might look great in an architectural magazine, but a major point of weakness when it comes to thwarting a home invasion.No choice but to have a real person standing point.
Which brings us to the baby pythons.
Our goal: upon luring in the intruder(s), funnel them to a single location, where Sabera and I are already waiting, and will soon be joined by Roberta, who’s currently in charge of perimeter sweep.At which point, Daryl should be able to rush in from behind, enabling us to ambush the wannabe kidnapper and do some pointed interrogation of our own.
Now, an entire series of short shrieks bursts through the intercom, along the lines of “Ah, ah, ah, ahhhh!”Kind of reminds me of someone juggling a hot potato.
Sabera stares at me again.
“Baby pythons,” I whisper to her.“A dozen of them just rained down on our trespasser’s head.Doesn’t sound like he’s a fan.Which is perfect.As now he’ll retreat in the opposite direction, heading toward the kitchen.”
“Aren’t we in the kitchen?”
“Yes.At the moment, we’re both bait.I didn’t mention that?But it’s okay.Once the bedroom wing is out of play, Daryl can leave his post to advance from the rear, while Roberta will enter from the reptile wing, creating the perfect pincer maneuver.We just need to buy a little more time…”
The prowler is definitely proceeding in our direction, because I don’t need the intercom system to hear what he says next.
His voice carries, loud and menacing, from the vaulted living room into the kitchen:
“American, I know you have my cousin.If so, you must realize I have come for her.Give her up now, and I promise not to kill you.”
“Habib,” Sabera whispers, her eyes dilating in fear.
I reach across the island, squeeze her hand hard.“Time, just a little more time,” I reassure her.
Then, under my breath: “All right, Petunia.You’re up.”
CHAPTER 44
IEDGE CLOSER TO THE OPENINGinto the living room.I can’t help myself.Of all our traps, this one worries me the most.A snake as big as Marge, most people are going to jump and run from as fast as possible.Pythons as tiny as the babies, fling away and dance in the other direction.No reptiles harmed in the line of duty.But Petunia, if she does what she’s capable of doing…
We hear it the moment the first trip wire is snagged.
Followed by what is definitely a curse in any language.
Odor hits next.Earthy and pulpy, with top notes of banana and orange.Second trip wire.
“Fu…”
