Page 86 of The Scoundrel and the Debutante
She made a sound as if she were choking. “Maybe we’ve been too hasty,” she said, her voice was shaking. She seemed nervous.Toonervous.
“Is that your idea?” he asked, pulling her closer. “Or did Stanhope say something else to you?”
Prudence opened her mouth as if she wanted to speak, but shook her head. “It makes sense, Roan. M-my family is here. Mylifeis here. I can’t leave it all behind because I had a passionate affair over the course of one week. One week, Roan! You can’t really expect me to give up everything for one week. Maybe what we’ve felt is infatuation. Maybe we were caught up in the adventure and imagined something more.”
Roan’s heart detonated, collapsing with the rest of his insides. He felt almost ill. “I love you, Prudence Cabot,” he reminded her. “God help me, I don’t know how it happened but I loveyou. I thought you loved me. Why are you deciding now that one week is not worthy of your consideration? Why are you telling me that some other man has offered marriage and you find it more agreeable?”
“It’s not! I never said that it was!” she cried.
“Are you afraid? Is that it?” he asked, roughly caressing her face. “I grant you America is very far away, but I won’t keep you from your family. I’ll bring you to England as often as you like.” Even as he spoke the words, he knew that he couldn’t promise her such a thing.
And it hardly mattered. Prudence was already shaking her head. “It’s not that simple.”
“It was that simple last night. It was that simple when you lay in that bed with me. There is something you’re not telling me,” he insisted.
“No. I’ve told you everything. I realize how practical Stanhope’s offer—”
“Damn you,” Roan said brusquely before she could try and convince him she should accept the offer. His collapse transformed into fury, swelling up in him. He suddenly grabbed her arm and yanked her into him, catching her by the nape of her neck. “How can you do this, Pru?”
“I don’t want to do it,” she said tearfully. “You have to believe me, Roan. It’s not what I want to do. It’s what I have to do.”
His feelings darkened and he let her go. “I don’t deserve this.”
“I know,” she said, and a single tear began to slide from the corner of her eye.
“You’re careless. You’re selfish. You have taken something from me that I will never have back. And worse, you’ve made me an accomplice in taking something from youthat you will never have back. Does your Stanhope know that?”
She bit her lip and glanced down.
“You’ve put us both at great risk and now you will toss it away as if it meant nothing. I didn’t come here looking for anything but my sister, butyouput yourself on that coach. I fell in love with you, Prudence. I asked you to marry me and damn you, you gave me every reason to hope!”
She caught a sob in her throat. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “From the bottom of my heart.”
He set her back, away from him. “I should have known. I was caught up in the moment, I was captivated. But I should have known you would never leave here.”
“That’s not true—”
“Good night,” Roan said, and opened the door.
“Roan—”
“Goodnight,” he said again.
He didn’t actually see her go out. His fury and his disappointment turned into a sharp pain that stabbed at him. He was the biggest goddamn fool in the world.
* * *
WHENMORNINGCAME, Roan methodically went through his toilette, then gathered his things. He and Aurora would be leaving today, taking rooms in a hotel until tomorrow, when he could arrange passage to Liverpool. He went downstairs and found Mrs. Easton, Mercy and Aurora still at breakfast. He did not look for and he did not see Prudence.
Roan greeted them as politely as he could and declined Finnegan’s offer of a plate; he had no appetite. Aurora, however, had a hearty one. It never ceased to amaze him that she could bounce back so quickly and completely from her follies. How he yearned for that ability today. He stood anxiously, wanting to get on with things.
A footman stepped into the room and bowed. “The carriage has been brought round, Miss Matheson.”
“Thank you!” Aurora said cheerfully, ignoring Roan’s look of shock. She said to him, “I should like to say goodbye to my friends. Mrs. Easton very kindly made the carriage available.”
“What?No,” Roan said sternly. “We are moving to a hotel this afternoon and leaving for Liverpool tomorrow. You will not be traipsing alone around London.”
“Tomorrow!” Mrs. Easton said.
