Page 83 of Sinful Scottish Laird
It was Daisy who plummeted first. Her release drew a powerful one from Cailean. He was spent, and he somberly gathered her in his arms and pressed his face to her neck. Daisy clung to him as the heat ebbed from their bodies, afraid to let him go. If she let go of her hold of him, she would lose him forever.
Cailean, however, did not feel that panic, for he pushed up from her, kissed her tenderly, then sat up, still trying to catch his breath. He grinned at her. “You hair will need a wee bit of tidying.”
She laughed and sat up, reaching for her gown. She slipped it over her head and began to take the pins from her hair so that she might put it up again. There was an ease between them, a sense of comfort. Such compatibility, such harmony that Daisy said, without thinking, “I’m not going to marry him.”
Cailean paused in fastening his buckskins and looked at her. “Pardon?”
“I won’t marry Robert.” She smiled, certain he’d think this happy news.
But Cailean frowned thoughtfully and motioned for her to turn around so he could lace her gown. “Why no’?”
“How can I possibly?” she asked. “As it happens, I’m in love with someone else.”
The pulling of her laces suddenly stopped. And then Cailean put his hands on her shoulders and turned her about. “What did you say?”
“I said, I’m in love with someone else.”
She expected his blue eyes to shine. But Cailean’s frown only deepened, and Daisy’s belly began to quiver with dread. He took her face in his hands. “Diah,leannan,what are you doing?” he asked plaintively.
The quiver turned to nausea. “I just told you Iloveyou, Cailean.”
But Cailean shook his head, and Daisy’s heart, so full only moments ago, began to deflate. “It’s impossible, Daisy, aye? You know it is. I’ve been honest with you, have I no’? From the beginning, have I no’ said—”
“That you had no interest in my fortune,” she said, shoving against his chest. “But you have interest inme, Cailean—you do! You obviously do!”
“Aye, of course I do!” He groaned, shoving a hand through his hair. He looked as if he was trying to impart something very important and she was refusing to listen. “Listen to me now. I want you with everything that I have,” he said, knocking his fist against his chest. “But I canna marry you, lass.”
“I didn’t—”
He wouldn’t let her speak. He took hold of her chin. “Heedme,” he said. “I’m no’ welcome in England and, in fact, I am wanted there. And frankly, you’re no’ particularly welcome here. Even if you were,leannan,I am five and thirty, well past the age for marrying and a family.”
Not only was her heart completely deflated now; the queasiness was strong. She sank onto the settee and pressed her hand against her belly.
Cailean sat beside her and took her hand. “My duty is to take my da’splace and lead this clan. And that I will do, before the end of the year. I canna leave Scotland now, no’ when Spivey knows where I am and what we do. England would mean the end of me, aye? No, I willna leave Scotland, Daisy, but youmustleave Scotland. For the sake of Ellis, you must leave. You know what I say is true.”
Daisy couldn’t comprehend how this man, this beautiful, perfect man, could make love to her like he had and then say such jarring and awful words.
“A Diah,”he muttered, studying her. “You know I am right,leannan. Ellis must be in England. He’s a viscount. He has property, and he will need the connections only England can give him, aye? He canna hide away in the Highlands with a free trader, and neither can you.”
He was right. She knew he was right. But God help her, how she wanted him to be wrong. No matter what she felt, no matter who she loved, her responsibility to her son was far greater than her own wants. She knew this. She had always known this.
The weight of the truth was too much for Daisy. She pulled her hand free of his and sagged to one side, bracing her arms against the settee, breathing heavily, feeling as if she might be sick. All the wild hope she’d felt riding to Arrandale, all the hope she’d harbored that Cailean would somehow save her had been a foolish little dream. That dream was too much to carry now, and she felt as if she would collapse.
“Daisy,” Cailean said, and he caught her up in his arms, cradling her against his body. Daisy thought of Ellis, her boy, probably wondering where she was, and pushed free of his embrace. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone. She stood and unsteadily shook out her skirts, then tried, unsuccessfully, to tuck her hair back into some coif. She finally gave up and let it hang loose down her back. She took several steps toward the door, almost stumbling away from him.
“Daisy, for the love of Christ,” Cailean said and put his arm around her shoulders, trying to pull her back, to keep her from leaving.
She held up her hand to make him stop. She swallowed hard, trying to gather herself, but her heart was still breaking, shattering into little pieces. She needed a moment before she could speak. Finally she asked, “What did it mean?”
He looked at her strangely, glanced at the settee, trying to understand her question.
“What you said when you left Auchenard,” she said. “What did it mean?”
“Och,lass,” Cailean said and gently stroked her hair. “It doesna matter.”
“It matters to me.”
Cailean stroked her hair. “I’d rather you no’ know. There is enough heartache, is there no’?”
