Page 75 of Rear View
His gaze darted around. “Come on, R.J. Don’t shut me down like that. Just try.”
He couldn’t be serious. I blinked hard. “Wedidtry, Christian. We tried and you dumped me whenhecame into my life.” I slammed my hands on my hips. “Or did you forget you left me when I needed you? Let me facehimalone like a coward. And like the fool I was, I waited for you. I waited a long time. I let myself be second place again and again. I finally found someone who treats me like a priority. I’m not giving that up.”
His expression twisted. Pain and embarrassment and anger. He swallowed hard. “I was always there, Ryah. I still am.”
“No, you’re not.” I pointed toward the living room. Toward Xavier. “He is. And he’s everything to me.”
He tore a hand through his hair. “You don’t even know him. He’s just using you, R.J.”
My head drew back. “Excuse me?”
“He’s here now, sure. But what happens when his career takes off? He’ll dump you and leave you in his dust. He’s just gonna hurt you.”
I hated that he’d plucked that fear from my head and given it voice. Hated that he tried to cut my legs out from under me when I was finally trying to stand.
Stand. Tall.
“What bothers you more, Christian? That he chose me? Or that I’m no longer pining foryou?” I shook my head and set my suitcase on the floor. “Please, just leave my room.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“Because you being in here looks some kinda way, and I’m not comfortable with that.”
He let loose a dry laugh. “What? Your driver not trust you or something?”
My bedroom door creaked open. Xavier’s large frame filled the entrance as he set his shoulder against it. “I trust her just fine,” he said. “It’s you who’s pissing me off.” He tipped his chin up. “She told you to step out, son.”
Christian scowled. “R.J. and I are talking.”
“I’d say you’re about done.” X rolled his shoulders, the threat pulsing off him tangible. “You feel me?”
Turning, Christian sized him up, but if he thought he had a chance, he didn’t. I didn’t need to see Xavier fight to know he could. He hadn’t lived with his father, learned to carry himself the way he did, with that cool, don’t-fuck-with-me confidence, without knowing he could back it up.
My chest tightened. The last thing I wanted was my ex ruining our time by bleeding all over my apartment. “Just leave, Christian.”
He scoffed, his incredulous eyes haunting me. “I can’t believe you right now.”
“Just. Leave!”
Shaking his head like I’d disappointed him, he aimed for the door. He angled sideways, pulling away from Xavier, and stalked out. X half-turned, following him with his glare. A few seconds later, the front door slammed.
I flinched, then exhaled long and slow to calm my frantic nerves before I sagged onto the edge of the bed.
Xavier strode inside and took a knee before me. “You alright, darlin’?”
“I’m fine.”
He set his hands on the mattress by my hips. “That the truth?”
Tears stung the backs of my eyes, and I looked away.
He hooked a knuckle under my chin and pulled me back to him. His arctic gaze met mine and held. Waiting.
The weight of his attention pressed in, making it harder to breathe. “I’m sorry, Xavier. I just don’t wanna hurt you.”
“I might not always like what you say, Ryah, but I still wanna hear it. I don’t want you holdin’ back. You can tell me anything.”
God, I didn’t deserve him. My tongue trailed the back of my teeth while my hands settled against his stomach, twisting in his shirt. He’d asked for the truth, so I’d give it to him. That one, anyway. “I’ve wanted Christian for a long time.”
