Page 64 of Rear View
“I found it with him,” Xavier said, staring down at that touch. “After that, I was done. I made a plan.” His grip cinched over mine. “Got Mom out and put her in hiding, then did some shit to make sure Dad went away.”
Away? “To prison?”
“Yeah.” His throat dipped as he swallowed hard, his eyes distant like he was lost in a memory. Or a nightmare.
“You stopped him, Xavier.”
His chest rose on an inhale. “Not fast enough.”
Because to him, he hadn’t saved his brother. The burden he carried. The things he’d seen. What was it like to have the threat live under your roof? The man whose job it was to love you and shield you, but instead, he was the one you needed shielding from.
“No,” I breathed, because Xavier staking a claim tothat guilt couldn’t go unchecked. “That blame belongs to your father.”
His eyes creased as he shook his head. “I was too late once. And because of it”—he dipped his chin toward that note—“that’s all I’ve got left.” He gripped that handle in his left hand harder, as if he needed the support. “When I drive, when I ride”—his stare met mine—“when I’m with you, I’m doing what my brother asked, ’cause I’m livin’. He won’t ever get that.”
My gaze fell as I wiped another tear.
He lifted our clasped hands, and my heart warmed when he grazed them along his jaw, then pressed a kiss to the back of mine. “I’m not my father, darlin’. I’ll never be him. I’d never hurt you.” His jaw muscles pulsed as he clenched them. “I’m sayin’ this ’cause I promised myself I’d never be too late again.” He cut his head sharply to the side. “Never-fuckin’-again. So, I don’t want you tothinkI’ll protect you.” He hooked a knuckle under my chin and lifted my eyes to his. When he spoke, the weight of his words sank into my soul. “I want you to know it.”
The hard edge in his voice, the pained history in his eyes, were a promise and a vow. He meant what he said, and I felt the depth of it in my entire being. I bit my lip hard and my breathing slowed, every ounce of tension leaving my body. I nodded.
Lowering his arm, he cleared his throat again. “Where do you want me to drop you?”
My body relaxed, and with it, my answer came easy. “My apartment.”
Chapter Fifteen
Ryah
I stared down at my laptop, trying to ignore the way the campus library grew emptier and emptier by the second. Students and faculty threw on their coats and stuffed their bags, making a break for it before the storm really hit.
Leg bouncing, I checked my watch. Two hours until my meeting with Barlowe. I clicked through my notes, making sure I’d addressed his previous concerns. And like the thirty times I’d looked before, I had.
My phone buzzed and some of the pressure in my chest eased when Xavier’s name lit the screen.
Our date had been…amazing.Betterthan amazing. When he’d dropped me off, he walked me to my door, no expectations. Just making sure I got in safe, and God, if it hadn’t made me want him more. I’d itched to be brave enough to lean in, to kiss him, but my cowardly little feet had stayed rooted where they were.
My sigh was wistful as my gaze flicked to his message.
Xavier: How’s it goin, darlin?
I bit my lip to contain my smile, because that rally driver did things to me.
Me: It’s been a day. I tried getting Barlowe to cancel, but no such luck.
Xavier: Dick move of him.
That smile broke free.
Me: Total dick move.
Xavier: His office is in the psych building?
Was he checking a campus map? I cocked my head, because I could think of only one reason he’d want to know that.
Me: It is, but don’t worry about me. I’ll just catch the bus.
My throat tightened. Catch it in the dark. Alone.
