Page 124 of Rear View
I crushed my eyes closed and set my forehead to hers. I didn’t deserve her. Never would. But deserve her or not, I was keepin’ her.
Holding tight, I reopened my eyes and led her into the house. We kicked off our gear and I took her to the living room. Dropping onto the couch, I set my elbows on my knees.
She stepped in front of me, twisting the sleeves of her shirt. “Talk to me, Xavier.”
I hooked my arm around her waist and positioned her in my lap, ’cause I needed to feel her. “I told you I got my old man put in prison?”
Shifting to straddle me, she settled in and trailed the tip of a nail over my stomach. “Yes, you told me.”
“But I didn’t tell you how it all shook out.” My grip found her hips. “After my brother killed himself, things at home got bad. Dad realized he was losing control.” I flexed my fingers, holding her tight. “When I read that note from Fallon, that was it. My life changed. There was everything before that day, and everything after. I wouldn’t go back. But I was fourteen. Wasn’t big enough or strong enough to do anything. Not yet.
“My old man was an accountant. Turned out he skimmed off the top of his client’s retirement funds for years. His family’s shady. Been runnin’ drugs a long time. But Ma figured something else was off ’cause he started spending way more than he made. Ended up bein’ just over half a mil. Dad was cocky. Left the documents lying around at times. One night, Ma found them, confirmed her suspicions. He beat her bloody for it. Put her in the hospital.” I stared past her.
“The system did nothin’ to protect us, so I decided to. I made a plan. Got a job to cover stuff for her and me, then squirreled away some cash as a get-the-fuck-outta-Dodge fund for Ma. Small amounts every week so Dad wouldn’t notice. Alec and I learned to fight. Trained all the time to get me ready. I taught myself to drive ’cause, when shit hit the fan, I had an idea how it’d go down. Then I read up on the legal stuff, found this thing called the ‘In Plain Sight’ law that let the cops read his documents without needin’ a warrant. So, I strapped them tohis chest and set him up, orchestrated them arriving. Orchestrated everything.”
Her brows shot high.
Raking a hand over my hair, I exhaled a rough breath. “I stopped trustin’ the system. Stopped expectin’ help. I couldn’t rely on anyone. Not even Ma. I love her to death, but she was too scared to talk to the cops, to make a move against Dad or his family. It was me or bust, so I got ready.” I swallowed hard. “It was the first time I ever fought back, and I kicked the hell outta him.” I shook my head. “Best and worst fuckin’ night of my life.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice small and tight.
“Best, ’cause, for the first time, I knew he couldn’t hurt me anymore, that no matter what came next, I could protect Ma. And the worst, ’cause, hate him or no, beatin’ my old man didn’t feel the way I wanted.”
Her fingers curled into my shirt. “What had you wanted to feel?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Good. Relief. I don’t know. But all I felt was empty.” My gut hardened when I braced for the tough part. “When the cops came…” I inhaled, harsh and ragged.
“They arrested him,” she finished, and angled closer. “He deserved it, Xavier. Every second of his time. You don’t need to feel bad about that.”
Ididn’tfeel bad, not when it came to him. But my tongue felt heavy. Slow. Dead weight in my mouth. ’Cause the rest of the story was aboutmycuffs andmycourt, and the timemyass had spent in jail.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck!
My face must’ve said more, ’cause she brushed her soft lips to mine, encouraging me. “What else?”
The exhale I loosed had my chest sinking as my hearthammered against my ribs. “After everything with my dad, I fled. There was a chase.” I raked a hand up the back of my neck and over my hair. Scared. I was fuckin’ scared. “The cops took me in, and I went away.”
She stilled. “What do you mean, went away?”
My eyes creased at the corners when they met hers.Don’t hate me, darlin’. Please.I cleared my throat, then cleared it again and finally told her, “My old man wasn’t the only one who got locked up.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ryah
I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. My mind tripped and stuttered, trying to absorb his words. Xavier had gone to…jail.
“It’s not who I am,” he said, his voice thick while his hands cinched over my hips. “I just… I needed to stop my old man, and it was the only way.” The muscles of his torso corded as if he was bracing himself when those arctic eyes found mine. “Say somethin’, darlin’.”
There weren’t thoughts, only questions. “How long?”
His expression turned tortured. “Twenty-two months.”
My heart thumped a heavy beat. Everything. His father’d takeneverythingfrom him. His childhood, his mother and Fallon, then nearly twoyearsof his life.
“You didn’t tell me,” I breathed, not mad, because I’d kept a secret of my own. But it still hurt.
He must have read that in my tone because his head fell. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Ryah.” He shook his head. “I was a juvenile when it happened, so it was cleared from my record. I don’t talk about it ’cause if our sponsors or the WRC found out, we’d lose everything. I should’ve spoke up, but I was so damn scared you’d see me different.” He flexed his grip against me. “But I get if this changes things for you.”
