Page 75 of Heart Strings
By day, I focus on my infectious disease research paper in between lectures and clinical rotations. Aidan is beyond supportive, but he’s also a little distracting. I haven’t felt as sharp as usual since my study sessions have been halved by all the time we’ve spent together.
At night, I allow myself to listen toHeaven-Boundon repeat. I turn off the lights to immerse myself in the sound without distractions, the way Aidan and I used to do together. And I break down in tears every time.
Dynamic, raw vocals contrast with the brightness of the mandolin. Candid lyrics tell a story of doomed love, starting with heated infatuation in track one and ending in bitter heartache with “Never Forever.” Some of these songs I’ve heard before, although never with professional production. Others offer new revelations into the depth of Aidan’s feelings for me.
If only I’d had the courage to listen to it before. If only I hadn’t refused to entertain the possibility of staying together after he was discovered.
On the fourth night of Aidan being gone, when my phonelights up with his contact photo, I dive toward it and answer eagerly. Simply hearing his voice say hello soothes my frayed nerves. This is even better, a FaceTime call.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“You’re way prettier than I was after a cross-Atlantic flight. It’s so unfair. Did they put you in first class or something?”
Aidan smooths a hand over his beard. “I can assure you, the label is only willing to spring for economy.”
“Gotta keep you humble somehow.”
“That’s what I have you for.”
“I’ve always wanted to go to New York,” I say. “My mom hates flying. Even though we could afford it, she never wanted to go anywhere that required air travel when I was a kid, so our family trips were limited to Six Flags, Dallas, or South Padre Island.”
Aidan had never left his small village in Cork until he graduated and began busking his way through Cork and Dublin before finding his place in Galway. We used to talk about one day seeing the world together.
“We can visit when you’re on Easter break. When Central Park is filled with cherry blossoms.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, envisioning a setting worthy of a classic rom-com.
“I did a benefit show in New York last spring. Some of these trees turn completely pink and drop huge piles of blossoms. There was a woman walking her dog, and the dog started rolling around in them. It looked so happy with all these petals stuck to its fur.”
“We need to visit, if only to re-create that scene.”
“Tongue slobbering and all,” he clarifies. “I haven’t seenanything outside the venue this time, to be honest. We did a sound check soon after we arrived and now I have some time to kill.”
“You’re spending it talking to me? Get out there, sight-see like an annoying tourist!”
Aidan laughs. “What can I say? I miss you.”
His admission settles between us softly, and I take a beat to let it sink in.
“Tell me what you’ve missed.”
“Your…smile.” He brings a fist under his chin.
“Nothing else?”
“Your voice.”
“Go on.”
Aquamarine eyes rove over me knowingly. Even through a screen, they’re so intense. “The feel of your soft skin.”
How I’ve missed the protected feeling of being held in Aidan’s embrace. I want to reach through the phone now and touch him.
“I’ve missed you, too, so I’ve been listening to your record on repeat,” I confess.
He straightens. “Do you like it?”
“Of course. Aidan, it’s beautiful. I knew it would be. I just…didn’t know if I could hear it without remembering everything. Getting emotional.”
