Page 84 of You've Got a Place Here, Too
“Who areyou,Leo?” Layla continued. “We used to be so close. Tell each other everything, even the hard stuff. What aren’t you telling me? I feel like I don’t even know you…”
Which actually made sense. Because Leo felt like he didn’t know himself.
“Layla, youdoknow me. Well, parts of me. Parts that no one else knows. Parts of me I didn’t even know existed until I met you. Until I…until I fell in love with you.”
“And what about the other parts?” she asked, her voice more tender now. Like she still loved him enough not to end things just yet. “You can tell me about the other parts. You can tell me anything, Leo. You know that, right?”
He nodded. He knew he could tell Layla anything. But could he tell hereverything?
“I’m…I’m not who you think I am, Lay Lay.”
“What?” Layla looked frightened as she took a step back from him.
“No, no. Not like that. Like, I’m Leo. But…I’m just…just different. And when I came here, I realized just how different I was, how different Iam.And…I just don’t know if you’ll like what makes me different. If you’ll love me the same once you know who I really am.”
He was rambling now. Talking in circles that certainly weren’t helping the situation. Because Layla only looked more hurt and confused.
“So, what do you wantmeto do, Leo?” she asked. “What am I supposed to do if you won’ttellme what makes you so different?”
Now she was the one who seemed defeated. Her shoulders slumped, her head down, her voice so sad it didn’t even sound like hers. Leo had hurt her. Done the one thing he’d promised to never do. And he knew he’d never forgive himself for it.
“Please, come home with me on Sunday, like we planned,” Leo said. “I doubt you’ll like what you see. But I owe you that much. I owe you the truth. And then you can decide if you still want to be with me.”
“Can I think about it?” Layla asked softly. “It’s just…this is just all a lot to take in, Leo. It’s just…”
Leo tried to pull her into his arms again and this time, she let him. She buried her face in her spot between his shoulder and neck and cried. And Leo, who didn’t care who was peeking through the curtains of their dorm room windows, cried with her.
All he could do was hope she’d come home with him. At least then he’d forever have memories of her standing beneath the magnolia trees on the first and last day she spent in his small world.
They’d argued again on Friday and yet again on Saturday. By Sunday morning, Leo had given up hope that she was going to come home with him. But Layla was standing next to his F-250 at noon, just as they’d originally planned. He wondered how much it had taken for her to convince herself to follow through. Regardless, he was grateful she was with him. Terrified to show her the truths he’d kept hidden the entire semester. But grateful, nonetheless.
Layla had fallen asleep less than twenty minutes into the drive, the gentle sway of riding in a pickup truck’s cabin for the time rocking her into a much-needed slumber. So Leo drove in silence, not wanting to turn on the radio out of fear it might wake her.
It started to snow as soon as Leo turned onto the one-lane dirt road that led to his small world. Just light flurries that wouldn’t even stick. Still, he awakened Layla because she was a Southern girl, and he knew she’d never seen snow.
“Oh my god! Look!” Layla was like a child, and he couldn’t help smiling at her genuine joy over something he’d seen many times over. “Stop the car. I want to take a picture for my parents. And for me! My first snowfall!”
She laughed and swirled as he took photos with the disposable camera she’d purchased just for the trip.
For some reason, this moment made Leo hopeful. Not that Layla wouldn’t break up with him. But that she’d always remember him for sharing two very important firsts. Because no matter what happened, he knew he’d never forget her.
“Leo, wherearewe?”
They were back in the truck’s cabin, less than a mile awayfrom Leo’s small world, and Layla was nearly hanging out the window as he drove carefully through the rough terrain.
“We’re almost home,” Leo said. “Almost to my favorite place in the world.”
“Well, it’s absolutely beautiful.” Layla smiled at him. “Like, it doesn’t even seem real.”
They rode a few more minutes in silence before they came to an unmarked fork in the road. Leo took a deep breath before he stopped the truck, put it in park, and stared out at the wooded clearing. He reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out the cassette tape he’d been hiding all semester, one of his biggest little lies. His heart pounding as he wondered when the perfect time would be to press play.
Would there ever be a perfect time?
“We’re…here?” Layla looked around the clearing suspiciously. “You live…here?”
“We’re almost there.” Leo pointed to the dirt pathway that veered right at the fork. “But I want to say something before we get there.”
“Alright,” Layla said softly.
