Page 69 of One Year Ago in Spain
She didn’t know. But she had to try.
“I’ve…been spending time with Matías’s soul,” Claire blurted. “Outside the hospital. That’s why I haven’t been here.”
Aracely and Soledad looked blankly at her.
Claire swallowed and tried again. “I think…his consciousness is detached. But he came to me at my hotel, and I’ve talked to him. So that’s why I haven’t been here. I feel like I need to spend time with Matías’s soul, to try to get him to reconnect with this reality—”
“Enough,” Soledad said. “I don’t want to hear such nonsense excuses.”
“But, I—”
Aracely shook her head. “This is a rough time for all of us, Claire. I know it’s hard, and I’m sorry. But if you want to help Matías, you have to get yourself together.”
“He is right here,” Soledad said. “Not a ghost at your hotel.”
Claire’s eyes stung. “I didn’t mean that he was a ghost. I’m not making this up—”
“Tomorrow morning,” Aracely said, giving Claire a sad look like she was sorry that Claire was losing her mind, “we are all going to a gathering to remember Carlos and Diego—el evento conmemorativo. They were like brothers to Matías. He was always at their homes, and they were always at ours. They have been around for as long as I can remember, and they were like brothers to me.”
Claire swiped at the tears threatening to spill over. It had been a long shot to tell Aracely and Soledad about Matías, but they hadn’t even given her a chance. They had written Claire off as easily as someone shrugs off the tall tales that little kids tell, and she felt more like an outsider than ever.
And yet Claire had to stay in their good graces. Soledad and Aracely controlled access to Matías.
“Evento conmemorativo tomorrow morning,” Claire repeated. “Of course. I’ll be there.”
“No,” Soledad said. “You will behere. In that chair.” She jabbed her finger where Claire sat.
“Oh.” Claire’s body shook as she tried to hold on to her pride while also bending to Soledad’s will. “Um, okay. I thought Aracely meant she wanted me to come to the evento conmemorativo, but of course I’ll stay with Matías.”
“He is your life,” Soledad said, shaking her head. “You were supposed to come to Spainwithhim. You stayed in New Yorkfor your job instead. But he was going to ask you to marry him. Did you know that, Claire?”
“I did…” In her shock at being scolded so harshly, Claire hadn’t been prepared to lie.
Aracely let out a tiny gasp. “You did? And you chose not to come?”
Claire looked down at the linoleum. “I made a mistake.”
“And you are still making mistakes,” Soledad said. “My Matías is here, suffering, every minute, every second. The rest of the family is here, every minute, every second, that we are allowed. But where are you? Working? Sleeping? Visiting an empty studio and looking for a ghost?”
“I—”
“I do not know what you are searching for, Claire,” Soledad said, “but it is not out there.”
Claire
As soon asvisiting hours were over, Claire fled the hospital and the watchful eyes of Soledad and Aracely. The de Leóns had not invited her over for dinner, even though her Spanish was decent enough after being immersed here for almost a week to understand—very generally—that they had been making plans among themselves.
Not that Claire would have wanted to go. She desperately wanted to be part of their family, but she also needed to get far, far away.
Oh, Matías,she thought.This wasnothow I wanted it to be the first time I met your family. I’m sorry for screwing it up. I’m trying really hard, though…
If only you were here to help me navigate all this. You could tell me what to do, and you could translate into proper Spanish because I feel like I’m missing nuances.
And there is so much you wanted to show me of your hometown, but now I’m here by myself. I don’t know what to do in my off-hours when I’m not with you.
I’m just…alone.
Four blocks after Claire left the hospital, Matías suddenly appeared by her side.
