Page 74 of Close to You
It doesn’t feel very funny and neither of us laugh as Jane enters with a plate of breads. As soon as we’re all sitting, she and Andy are chatting as if they’re the couple. She starts off by talking about a typical sort of day with Norah and that evolves into a conversation about his scout group and the football team he coaches. Before long, they’re on to schools, catchment areas, various school governors he knows, a nursery she’s been looking at – and so on.
I catch Ben’s eye and we share a brief smile that leaves me cold, before we each turn away.
Jane brings in the main course – some sort of fishy rice thing – but we’ve barely had a mouthful when the baby monitor sputters and Norah starts to cry. Ben and Jane swap a quick glance, but she’s already up and on her way before a word is swapped. It’s at that moment that Andy gets to his feet and disappears off towards the toilet.
Ben and I are opposite each other. Aside from brief, passing hellos, we haven’t seen each other in a long while.
I nibble at the rice dish, but my hunger has gone. It was a bad idea to come; I should have said I couldn’t make it. Excuses are easy to come up with – I have to pack; I’m not feeling well – whatever.
‘How are you doing?’ Ben asks.
‘Not bad. You?’
‘I’m fine, too.’
He mushes his fork into the rice, mixing it all around in a circle. He sighs and won’t look up, although he isn’t eating, either.
‘I didn’taskfor this,’ I say.
His fork pauses mid-stir and then he glances up to me. His voice is a hissed whisper: ‘You’re the one who keeps calling her and texting. You’re the one who meets her for lunch and coffees.’
‘We’ve been friends our whole lives. I knew her long before you. What do you want me to say to her?’
There’s a bump from the hallway and we both wait, although nobody appears. ‘We’ve got a daughter together,’ Ben mutters. ‘It’s not like it used to be.’
‘Again – what do you expect me to do? Even if I wanted to stop being friends, it’s not going to happen just like that. We only live a short distance apart. We’ve seen each other at least once a week for as long as I can remember.’
Ben clinks his fork into the side of his plate in annoyance. Where once I saw big, blue buttons for eyes, now I see an inferno. He opens his mouth to say something but never gets the words out because Andy breezes back into the room, utterly oblivious.
He sits, eats some of the rice, and then turns to Ben: ‘How’s life at the bank?’ he asks.
Ben eats some of the food himself, although, such is his anger, he ends up spilling some of it on the table. ‘I’ve got a conference starting tomorrow,’ he says. ‘I’m going to be away for four days.’
‘Where’s that?’ Andy asks.
‘London. They’re putting me up at a place near Euston.’
‘Nice.’
‘I’d rather be here.’
Ben glances towards me, but I quickly turn away, focusing on my own food. He’s made his point.
‘How’s your juice bar?’ Ben asks, although he doesn’t sound overly interested.
‘I’m looking to expand,’ Andy replies. ‘I’ve been talking to my own bank about possibly getting a loan to open a second bar. We’ve been going over possible properties.’
‘Exciting times.’
Ben couldn’t have sounded less enthused, although I’m not sure that Andy realises. It matters little anyway because there is a series of thumps from the stairs and then Jane re-emerges.
‘Norah went almost straight back to sleep,’ she says, before re-taking her seat. ‘Sometimes she only needs her hair stroking and that’s enough.’
We get through the rest of the meal with relative normality. Jane and Andy still make much of the conversation, while Ben and I routinely blank out everything that’s going on around us while umming and aahing at the appropriate times.
There’s always an awkward moment after people have finished eating in which nobody’s quite sure what happens next. Everyone really wants to head either home or somewhere far more comfortable than a dining table – though nobody wants to be the first person to bring it up.
It is Ben who finally breaks the impasse. He mentions his collection of football programmes, perhaps accidentally – and then he and Andy disappear into the garage to look through them. Jane waits until they’ve left and then pours herself another glass of wine.
