Page 34 of A Face in the Crowd
‘Do you want to sit outside?’ she asks, in a tone that makes it very clear it’s whatshewants to do. ‘It’s not that cold.’
She’s my lift back to the station and I feel a certain obligation, so I trail her out and we find a spot on the picnic tables in the beer garden.
‘You wanted to talk about money…?’ I say, hoping she’ll get on with it.
Gloria looks up and tugs an errant strand of hair away from her eyes. ‘Did you get anything when your husband died?’ she asks.
I’ve never been a fan of talking around a subject – but Gloria’s bluntness still feels like a physical smack.
‘Ben wasn’t my husband,’ I reply.
A momentary frown etches across Gloria’s face and then, as quickly as it arrived, it’s gone. ‘Oh, of course.’
I’m confused for a second, thinking she’s going to add something – but then I realise she’s still waiting for an answer. The directness is unnerving.
‘I didn’t get anything,’ I say. She nods along but doesn’t reply. ‘Why are you asking?’ I add.
‘No reason,’ she says.
I stare at her, but she’s now busy flicking at one of her shiny black fingernails.
‘There must be a reason,’ I say. ‘You brought me here and wanted to talk about money. Now you say there’s no reason…’
Gloria looks up and I feel like I’m back at school. The cool kids are playing the we-know-something-you-don’t-know game.
‘I’m not sure if I should say…’
I press back into the wooden chair and stare at her. It’s then that Melanie appears on the other side of the fence surrounding the beer garden. She’s holding a phone to her ear with one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other. She angles slightly and there’s a moment in which we see one another. Her eyes narrow as she continues to talk to whoever’s on the other end of the line and then she turns her back to me. It’s right that she’s here, of course – she lost two sons – but it feels as if she’s everywhere I turn.
I blink back to Gloria, trying to push away the thoughts of Melanie. ‘Why me?’ I ask.
‘Sorry?’ Gloria replies.
‘Why are you askingmeif I got any money after Ben died?’
‘I’ve been asking the others, too. You were a little more difficult to get hold of. I didn’t have your number or email address.’
It occurs to me that she got my number from somewhere, seeing as she called me. There’s a short silence, which I break: ‘I still don’t understand why you’re asking.’
Gloria weighs me up but doesn’t say anything.
As I feel for my bag, a thought suddenly occurs.
‘Did somebody give you money?’ I ask.
She reaches for her own bag – a knock-off designer monstrosity, inside which could fit most of what I own. I picture an envelope stuffed with cash in there. She bites her lip, glances sideways and then says: ‘I’ve got to go.’
In a flash, she’s on her feet, hurrying towards the car park. It’s only as she disappears from sight that I remember she’s supposed to be taking me back to the train station. I trail after her but only arrive in time to see her car exiting the gate at the far end. A few stray stones fizz backwards under the wheels and then she’s gone. I watch for a few seconds, unsure what’s transpired. She wanted to talk to me and then, from nowhere, she was running off.
When I turn around, Melanie is at the corner of the pub, still talking into her phone. I pretend I’ve not seen her and head inside. I feel like a wedding crasher as I mooch around the small groups of people who are deep in conversation. The atmosphere is different than at the church now the alcohol is taking hold. There are laughs and smiles and the morbidness has lifted.
I walk around, doing the closed-mouth smile and nod thing, hoping somebody might welcome me into their circle and that I can bum a lift. Perhaps surprisingly, it is Elaine who catches my eye. She’s still immaculate in her all-black suit and standing tall at the back of the room, where the large double doors overlook the moors beyond.
‘How have you been?’ she asks.
‘Oh, y’know…’ I reply, which is standard for this sort of thing. Nobody argues with this type of banality, even though it means nothing.
Elaine looks over her shoulder and then quickly back to me. I’m not sure she listened to my reply. ‘Can you see the bloke over by the bushes?’ she asks.
