Page 96 of Cages and Crowns
The day is long and by the time night appears, Nithe still hasn’t returned. I climb into bed, my eyes affixed to the stars outside. Exhaustion pulls at me, and I fight it. I can’t sleep.
It’s not safe.
But it is.
It is safe. Nothing will happen to me here.
When will I finally realize I’m safe? When will I finally trust that I am free?
I close my eyes and relax against the pillow, my heartbeat slowing as I drift off into sleep.
Blood splatters across my chest and I scream. Fire rages on around us and I quickly scan the area for someone to help me.
“Help!” I yell as I press down on the wound. “Somebody help me!” My screams tear through my throat. I look down at his face, the tan fading with the seconds. “Don’t go. It’ll be okay. Just stay with me.” I whisper, tears dripping off my chin and onto his paling skin.
“I’m sorry—” His voice cracks as he coughs, blood hittingmy face as I—
My head is pounding, sweat dripping from my hairline as I sit up. I suck in deep, ragged inhales. Blood. Ash. His face. Images flicking through my head. The first time in a while. The first time I have dreamt of something without looking for it since…since Noterra.
But that’s not true, is it?
At the wedding, I saw his head rolling on the ground. And just the other day I dreamt of a forest and a wolf.
My hands are shaking, and I glance over to where Nithe is stretched out on the couch. His soft breaths are the only noise in the silent room. I slide off the bed and silently walk over him. Tears form in my eyes as I trace the path from his forehead to the tip of his nose, over his rose-colored lips.
No. This isn’t happening. It’s just a dream. I tear my eyes away from him and curl up on my side, cradling the tiny swell of my belly.
I’m gone before he awakes in the morning, the sun beating down on my face from the courtyard. I can feel him approach before he speaks. I can feel the bond in the air like static.
“The weather is warming up quite slowly this year. It’s normally blazing.” Enzo says as he comes to stand next to me. I turn to face him, noting the small sunburn on his nose and cheekbones.
“You seem to have gotten quite a bit of sun.” I remark. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.”
“I was off doing some surveillance at the border. It seems more and more men are arriving every day. Nearly fifteen hundred.” My eyes widen.
“Is it safe for you to be so close?”
“I stay in my raven form; they don’t even see me.” I nod, but I still feel hesitance. “I heard you’ve had some…difficulties the last few days.”
“You heard about the guard?” He nods. “I don’t know what happened, it was an accident.”
“You don’t have a handle on your aether, it makes you dangerous.”
“I know. I need help, Enzo.” I plead.
“There is a professor in Labisa, Professor Melner. He taught Nithe how to shift, and me how to manage my abilities. He knows everything there is to know about aether and magic. At some point, we will have to arrange our journey home, and when we do, you should spend some time with him.” He turns to face me.
“Labisa isn’t my home, Enzo.”
“It can be.” He shrugs.
“Only because I don’t have a choice.”
“Why are you fighting everything, Elaenor? I know what you’ve been through, or at least some of it, but you don’t let anyone in. You don’t even attempt to heal. You sit with your misery and push everyone away. I know you haven’t been seeing Laenie, and Scar hasn’t mentioned spending time with you either. You spent the entirety of yesterday in your room, what will it take for you to heal?” Anger brews deep in his chest, I can feel it—hearit in the way he speaks.
“It’s not as easy as you think, Enzo. Do you think I want to be miserable and in pain? Don’t you think I want to find love and be happy? How are you so okay with everything? Davenport held a blade to your throat to ensure I slept with his son. Your life was forfeit. You should know how lost I feel. You should know what it feels like to be weak.” I bark, anger fueling my words. How can he be so okay? How can he act as if nothing is wrong, and life is perfect?
“Having a weakness does not make meweak, Elaenor.” He says, his voice even and emotionless.
